A Day at Home!

It's a lovely fall day here - sunny, a little nippy ... and YES, my 22 month old was running around the back deck in only a tshirt!  She found a few acorns to play with ... and loved hearing the leaves crunch as she ran over them barefoot. 
No, I didn't let her stay out there long in this condition ... and yes, someone DOES need to re-stain our deck. 

In other HutchHaus news, I got my results from my recent triglyceride re-check (last Wednesday), which leads me to an official Healthy Hausfrau Report:

There's good news and there is bad news.
The good news is my triglyceride levels are DOWN ... the bad news is they are down from almost 500 to 304, which is still TOO HIGH.  My doctor's nurse said he wants me to double my medication ... however, he doesn't know that I never took my medication in the first place!!  :-O  I have tried to work on drinking more water, eating healthier, and having more OATMEAL!!  I was going to add fish oil to my supplements - and have yet to get some. 

Now comes my dilemma:  I have a bottle of pills that would be an easy fix to get my levels back to normal by the time I go back for a re-check in January OR do I continue on with trying to do this on my own.  I am leaning towards just continuing my efforts to improve my health the natural way.  While I realize that high triglycerides are SERIOUS - in that they can lead to stroke, heart attack, etc etc etc ... the fact that mine are on their way DOWN is good, right?! 

And so, today marks a new day - a new resolve to work towards a healthier lifestyle. 

Today is a good day to begin.  We have a fairly (Lord willing) easy week ahead of us, hopefully staying close to home & home cooking.  Over the weekend, I was so sick with a migraine on Saturday that I thought I had the stomach flu ... but the constant pain in my head was assurance that the constant nausea was just a side effect.  After suffering for 15 hours and dealing with a rebound headache all day Sunday, I have lost quite a bit of water weight and feel slightly less bloated.  That's a good place to be - kind of a clean slate - and dare I hope that an even healthier life style WILL help ease these migraines that have come back with a vengence in these last few months?!

And so I re-commit today to my goals & pursuing them even more seriously than ever:
~Drink more WATER (or at least unsweet tea or water w/ lemon or SOMETHING hydrating)
~Eat more OATMEAL (for what it is worth, I'm convinced there is some redeeming quality to this grain! and I like oatmeal, which I honestly can't say about a lot of whole grainy things)
~Watch the refined carbs & chocolate intake!!
~Take my vitamins AND my supplements faithfully, daily.
~Take Miriam for a walk or some form of exercise as often as possible.
~Eat more lean protein, eggs, and nuts (almonds). 
~More fruit & veggies - I love fruit & vegetables & salads ... I just need to make sure I budget for them & take the time to prep them.  Convenience food is so much more ... well, convenient (but so much more BAD in comparison).

Lastly: 
a REMINDER that "30 Days of Thanks" begins TOMORROW, November 1st. 
I will be blogging about what I am thankful for EVERY DAY - join me if you can; be thankful in your heart if you can't.  :)

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” — William Arthur Ward

Coming SOON: November

It is CrAzY how fast October has gone by ... how fast time goes by in general, the older I get.  Around here, I look forward to November because it holds several special days for us - my first baby girl will be turning 11 years old ... and I'll have a birthday at the end of the month.  This year it holds a little bit of dread as my father-in-law will be having open heart surgery soon to undergo valve replacement.  I am looking forward to a little bit of (God willing) family time as Thanksgiving gives us a few days off school. 

And I am looking forward to starting my 3rd annual "30 Days of Thanks" here on my blog in November!!  In 2009, I got this brilliant idea to start blogging about what I am thankful for each day in November - kind of a Thanksgiving theme but more to help me overcome my tendency to think too negatively.  I invited my friends from MamaBuzz and my blogging friends to join me ... and though I really planned to just do this for myself, I was so excited and encouraged when several ladies joined in!  :)  Several of us are still around, visiting each other's blogs and even meeting in real life (I really wasn't an AXE MURDERER, was I, Melanie??!).

As of November 1st, I wll be blogging about WHAT I AM THANKFUL FOR each day this month.  I invite you to join me - every day OR any day you find time.  I'll have a linky up, if you want to share what YOU are thankful for.  I have realized (what I probably should already know!!) that focusing on being thankful every day helps you to stay focused on the GOOD, on what you have - not on the bad or on what you don't have.  It keeps disappointment and discouragement away.

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” — William Arthur Ward

 

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night ...

Miriam and I spent the day going to my doctor for follow-up blood work to check on my triglyceride levels ...

and to have lunch and browse outlet mall stores with a friend and her baby.

It was a kind of rainy day ... and it turned into kind of a blustery evening.

 After church tonight - where we help with a children's program - Miriam enjoyed splashing around in puddles. 

 I couldn't capture her games in the rain very well with my camera ... but she had such a fun time running in and from all the rain falling and its gushing from the end of our (broken) gutter.  Miriam has labeled RAIN well; she calls it:

"Scary water!"

Hodge Podge - 10/26/2011

I am again joining Joyce and friends From This Side of the Pond for HODGE PODGE WEDNESDAY.

1. What gives you goosebumps?
When a prayer - or even just a fleeting thought -  is answered right in front of my eyes ... one of those miraculous moments when something I never imagined could work out, does - or something I so wished for suddenly belongs to me ... and I just KNOW that God sent it my way. 

2. Halloween-are you a lover or a hater? Okay, that sounds harsh...Halloween-yay or nay?
Is there such a thing as Halloween neutral?  I'm not against it (I dressed up & trick-or-treated as a kid, and my kids did when they were younger) - but now we don't do anything.  My husband is - I guess - a Halloween NAY sayer, so we turn out the lights and just hide out. 

3. Can you respect someone you do not trust, and can you trust someone you do not respect?

Ok, had to think on this one:  I can NOT respect someone I do not trust.  Honesty is worthy of respect; dishonesty is not. 
If I don't trust you, I can't respect you - or I can offer you the little bit of respect that I think every human being deserves but that's about it.
 As for trusting someone I don't respect ... maybe?  Depends on why I don't respect them. 

4. Apples or oranges? Yes, you have to choose.

APPLES.  I like oranges ok - but I much prefer mandarins or clementines anyway.

5. What is something you wish was in your town? (shop, restaurant, attraction, etc)

I live in the middle-of-no-where so I wish we had EVERYTHING (well, we have Walmart, Cracker Barrel, a new Panera Bread Co. and fast food places) ... I especially would love to have a TARGET!!!!!!  and Olive Garden would be nice too.
  Oh and Hobby Lobby!  and ................ well, EVERYTHING.

6. What non-food item is in your refrigerator or freezer?
ice packs

7. Are you at all superstitious?
No, not at all. 

8. Insert your own random thought here.

I have an almost-11 year old daughter.  She's smart - straight A's on her report cards most of the time, tested "gifted" last school year, and can retain a lot of information without too much effort.  However, as it often is with geniuses (ha!  she's NOT really a genius), sometimes they forget to tie their shoelaces (Einstein) or comb their hair (Einstein!) ... :)   When she was a lot younger, she once tripped over her own feet - and as we kind of chuckled at her, my husband made the comment that it was because she was a little clumsy because she was B-L-O-N-D-E, spelling the word out - to which our daughter adamantly replied, "I am NOT blind!!" 

Oh, never a dull moment. 

Just yesterday, around the dinner table, we were remembering a trip my husband had to take many years ago, and he mentioned that he was on a COMMERCIAL airliner.  Anna studied him a moment, and said, astounded, "I didn't know you were on TV!!"  We all had no idea what she meant.  We explained we were talking about an AIRPLANE, from a commercial airline.  Again she said, "I didn't know you were on TV!  ... What commercial were you in?"  Ahhhhhh, now THAT makes perfect sense.  If you're not blind.  ;)

Today

It is one of those GORGEOUS, sunny, warm Fall days where you want to be at the park, on the playground, running around with all the exuberance of being 22 months old ... and then it is time to go home and take a GOOD NAP!!  :)

Seeing ME in a Rabbit ...

Thanks to Miriam's latest obsession, we have watched THE MANY ADVENTURES OF WINNIE THE POOH over and over and over at my house.  I usually don't just sit and watch because while the movie is going, I can actually go get something done - however, over time, I've picked up some observations from this classic cartoon to realize something about MYSELF!! 

I used to see myself as somewhat of an Eeyore type ... a little pessimistic with a tendency to feel sorry for myself, but I now think I've evolved into more of a Rabbit.  Rabbit just wants to be left alone to garden, to quietly ice skate, or in his orderly house.  However, when Pooh shows up, he feels obligated to say, "How about lunch?" even though he doesn't really want to - but he knows it is the right thing to do.  When Pooh eats ALL his HUNNEY and gets stuck in his doorway on his way out, poor Rabbit about goes batty.  At this point in the movie, Miriam starts making funny faces, mimicing the rolling eyes and spinning head of Rabbit as he deals with the annoyance of a snoring - and sneezing - Pooh Bear and trying to make the best of the BIG ROUND BOTTOM sticking out into his living room, making it an ill-fated mantle.  

Rabbit makes statements like "Why does it always have to be me?  Why, oh, why, oh, why?"  And "Oh dear, mercy me.  Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!"  That cracks me up because if you listen to me in the course of a day with just Miriam around, I tend to have the same response!!  Somehow my life is full of the ironies of things that would probably only happen TO ME ... things like this don't happen to "normal" people, do they?!  And I mutter quite a bit under my breath too, an embarrassing habit. 

Rabbit is the one who leads the meeting to plan how to "un-bounce" Tigger, another annoyance.  Yeah, I want annoying interruptions to go away too ... Especially back in the day when I worked as a church secretary, and people would camp out in my office to "chat" while I had TONS of work to do.  In my equivalent of "how about lunch", I'd ask, "So, how are you?" and then be somewhat stuck politely listening to the excruciating detailed answer.  I'd talk to my pastor about how I could "unbounce" these people - in other words, AVOID THEM ... but really, other than diverting them to him, there really isn't any NICE way to do it. 

In our movie, Rabbit does finally get Tigger to the point where he promises to stop bouncing; however, Tigger is MISERABLE, sad, and defeated.  Rabbit doesn't really notice.  The other animals offer sympathy -and Rabbit again, out of obligation, tells Tigger to go ahead & bounce again ... AND as a result gets caught up in the bouncing.  And he finds that he actually LIKES IT!!!!!! 

Many times, I just want to be left alone, do things on my own, or have a decent, orderly "garden" ... and OTHERS (my children!  my husband, sometimes people who I am really not even very good friends with) unwittingly come in and ruin my plans and shake up my calm.  But I need these bouncers and the eaters-of-all-my-hunney to get me to look outside my comfort zones.  And in the end, I usually find I LIKE TO BOUNCE TOO ... I just need someone to grab my hand, obligate me to try, and force me to begin. 

A Little Housekeeping!

TODAY I am HOME ALONE ... 12 hours or so of ALONE ...

well, if you don't count the CATS!

My husband took the kids to his parents' house and left me home, nursing a sore throat, blowing my nose, and ready for some SERIOUS house cleaning.

Today I can clean things without interruptions, do some crafty things without someone wanting what I have,

I've got the sewing machine out, and I may even steam clean carpets if I have time!

Sometimes cleaning the house is my idea of a PERFECT day!

One little project that I am doing today is something I saw on Pinterest.

This is GENIUS - not sure why I didn't think of it before.

I love baskets for storage - but this is turning a diaper box into a CUTE storage box:

The sample on pinterest was covered with vinyl and fabric, and the lady sewed a fitted liner for it,

 and hers had a cute matching bow on it ...

but mine is the ORDINARY hausfrau method:  just wrap the box with wrapping paper!

Think I'll be making another one or two today as well. 

I'll leave you with a SIMPLE recipe I made this past week as well:
I know I got this from someone's blog ... but I can't remember whose :(  If this is your recipe:  thank you!!

POTATO BACON CASSEROLE

for an 8x8 casserole pan

4 cups frozen shredded hash browns (I actually used frozen tater tots)

1/2 cup chopped onion

8 oz. bacon, cooked & crumbled

1 c. shredded cheddar

1 can evaporated milk

1 large egg, beaten lightly

1 1/2 tsp salt (I used Lawry's seasoned salt)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Grease pan.

Layer 1/2 potatoes, 1/2 onion, 1/2 bacon, and 1/2 cheese in dish.

Repeat the layer in same order.

Combine evaporated milk, egg, and salt in bowl; pour over potato mixture.  Cover with aluminum foil.

Bake for 55-60 minutes.  Uncover.  Bake for another 5 minutes.  Let stand 10-15 minutes before serving.



If You Give Miriam a Cookie

The other day, I drove through our local Panera Bread Co. for a cinnamon crunch bagel and a cup of coffee.  The man working the drive-thru asked me if Miriam was allowed to have a cookie - and I was said sure, expecting her to get a small, from-the-box, cardboard-tasting cookie ... but instead she got a HUGE M&M cookie that was just-baked soft!!  And I was just a little jealous.  While I love a cinnamon crunch bagel (bread-sliced!), I was trying to get her to trade me for some of that cookie!!  But she wasn't letting go ... and I can't say I blamed her.  ;)

The Least of These

"...Verily I say unto you, Since you have done it unto the least of these my brethern, you have done it unto me."

Mt. 25:40

Once a month my family works in our church's toddler nursery on a Sunday afternoon ... it is a group effort, and while nursery duty - honestly - wears me out, working together makes it so much better! 

I love to watch my husband interact with the little ones ... he enjoys this time way more than I do, I'm sure.

 I think it is wonderful that my husband is willing to take the time for young children.  I know some men who wouldn't even begin to consider working with little kids ... they seem to think that is "a woman's job" or perhaps they are just scared of them?!  ;)  But I think it makes my husband that much more adrmirable that he does take time to interact with the little ones.  God has given him the gift of compassion and patience to serve even in what the world may consider a very humble position of dealing with children.  In my eyes and certainly in God's, they are equally as important as working with teenagers or adults  and perhaps more so than making corporate decisions or dealing in business matters.

In the end, it is people that matter.  No matter what size.

I'm thankful my son has such a good example of a godly man ... and I pray he will exhibit the same kindness and compassion in his own life.

Besides, aren't these little toddlers SO adorable!  ;)  (And yes, this one IS upside down!!)

Morning?!

I've always been a NIGHT OWL ... I think my biological clock is just set for productivity during those dark hours when everyone else is (or SHOULD BE) asleep!!  However, every once in a while, my biological clock gets a little confused, and I wake up with FULL ENERGY at the crack of dawn ... it's a strange phenomenon for me - but the last 2 mornings as I've woke up earlier than usual, I will admit (begrudgingly!!) that one is QUITE productive as well when they get up EARLY when the ol' body is cooperating.  I'm not holding out hope this will last because while I am seeing myself be all perky and alert so early in the day, the back of mind is still saying, "I wish I were still ASLEEP!!" 

Thank the Lord Miriam had a great nap day yesterday at normal hours (which in the irony of my life will probably mean that TODAY she will NOT); but she was in bed BEFORE midnight, which is cause for great celebration here!!  We HAVE GOT TO get back on a suitable schedule.  That said, she is still sleeping this morning - for which I am also thankful - as I was anticipating a night of wakefulness with her as her nose has been a snot factory (sorry, that's just the facts!).  Hopefully the rest will do her good. 

Meanwhile, I've found myself in Psalms this morning ... in my quest to read through the Bible at my own pace.  God knew when I started this in January of 2009 that I needed to be in Psalms at this stage of my life in October of 2011; I have no doubt about that!! 

Psalm 68:19:

"Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits..." 

which I read in a commentary actually means "Blessed be the Lord, who DAILY bears our burdens."  What a benefit to us to have a God who helps us carry our load ... or maybe even carries it FOR us?!  In any case, He can have all mine today because my brain is tired of thinking about several issues I'm wondering what to do about or what will be ... He can take care of them in His time.  I'll work on waiting and being patient. 

One last thought:  I've always heard that God answers prayer by saying Yes, No, or Wait.  Here's another perspective on that~

God's 3 answers to your prayers:
1.  YES.
2.  Not yet.
3.  I have something better in mind. 

"God's ways are not our ways; His ways are better." 

And a little subtle cheering for our ST. LOUIS CARDINALS - WINNERS LAST NIGHT in

Game #1 of the World Series



Hodge Podge - 10/19/2011

Joining Joyce at From this Side of the Pond for today's HODGE PODGE:

How do you typically react in a sudden, extreme, pressure-filled crisis? Would we want you nearby in an emergency?

Honestly, I stink at emergency situations ... not that I panic or go hysterical - but I really just don't know what to do or say.  I'm pretty much useless.   If you have a crisis or emergency, you probably DO NOT want me around.  The person you DO want is my husband ... he's always calm, no matter what. 

I have taken CPR classes twice - and when it comes my turn to work on the Annie-emergency-dummy, I get all queasy inside ... hospitals and emergency rooms make my blood pressure and temperature go up about 2 degrees. 

Thankfully, I have not had too many emergencies in my lifetime- aside from a major one at age 15 when I was with my grandfather, and he had a heart attack at a train station (and later died).  I've had to call 9-1-1 once for a staff member at the school where I worked.  A few things like that ... and I do know God gives amazing grace and strength when one does have to face a crisis.  For that I am extremely thankful! 

2. Caramel apple-caramel sundae-caramel corn-caramel macchiato...of the four, which caramel treat would you choose?

I just had a bite of a caramel apple yesterday and it was AMAZING!!  The combination of the fruit with the sweet, chewy caramel was yummy.

3. Is there such a thing as destiny? Explain.
It's not that I'm so sure there isn't a destiny ... but I just don't really use the word.  I prefer to say there IS God's will or God's plan or sovereignty.  Destiny just seems like fate or luck - which I don't really believe in because I think God is in complete control of EVERYTHING. 


4. What's your favorite piece of furniture? I'm referring to something currently in your possession as opposed to something on your wish list.

I've always been fascinated with chaise lounges ... I don't have one nor have room for one - but I think they are just so elegant.  I think if I had one, I'd call it my "fainting couch"!  :)

5. Wednesday night marks the start of the 2011 Baseball World Series. Did you know? Do you care? Will you be watching? Ever been to a professional baseball game? If you're not an American do you find the title 'World Series' annoying or amusing?

OH YES YES YES!!  GO CARDINALS!!!!!!!
We live 120 miles west of St. Louis and this series is a BIG DEAL!!  My husband grew up in Southeast Iowa and has been a Cardinals fan all his life.  I have been to many Cardinals baseball games in the last 10 years that we've lived in Missouri. 
The title WORLD series IS a little presumptuous since the teams who quality for it are only in NORTHERN AMERICA, which obviously is NOT the world!!  :)
6. A sound that takes me back to my childhood is____________.

metal roller skate wheels on blacktop or concrete ...
7. On average, once you've linked your hodgepodge post to mine how many other participant blogs do you visit? Do you ever come back to the Hodgepodge later in the day or even the day after to read posts?
It varies by the time I have that day ... but I do always go visit the Hodge Podge post of the people who leave me a comment. 


8. Insert your own random thought here.

Life goes by so fast ... one sees it the most in children, I think.  These last 22 months with our tag-along baby in the house have been the FASTEST 22 months of my life! 
However, I also see time's passage in myself.  It seems just yesterday I was an insecure young wife and then insecure young mother ... and not that I'm much more secure in myself now, but I do have a greater sense of myself and less caring for what others think of me. 
 
When I had my first two children I was in my late 20's ... I had waited a long time (in my opinion!) to have children - and I was continually observing (and perhaps judging?) other people's parenting.  I read every parenting book there was (well, that I deemed worth reading, perhaps the ones that were more Christian-oriented) and took fastidious notes on lessons on child rearing.  I saw my children as a reflection of me and my parenting ... I wanted them to be obedient and not embarrass me.  I was pretty stressed out with schedules and certain ways to do certain things.  I wanted to be the perfect parent. 
 
I had my 3rd child in my late 30's ... there was a big gap of 9 years since we'd last had a baby in the home!  I had eaten a lot of crow in those years - I had done a lot of the things I once promised "I would NEVER ........"  And I learned a lot about NOT criticizing other's parenting or children because you aren't in their shoes!  This time, I didn't read any parenting books not because I suddenly "knew it all" but because I had a different outlook on parenting in general.  While advice and books are great, no one can really know what it is like to parent your unique child.  I no longer see my children as a reflection of me (well, ok, I do a little!! I still don't want them to embarrass me!!) but they are a reflection of the God who made them.  My job is to take that personality and mold them and correct them and direct them.   And I will say I am a whole lot more relaxed this time around.   I have learned to put my children in God's Hands and pray He honors my motives and heart. 

Simple Woman's Daybook - 10/18/2011

Joining the ladies at The Simple Woman's Daybook today:

FOR TODAY


Outside my window...

Kind of a rainy, gray fall day ... I'm seeing that it is 45 degrees outside.  The barometric pressure (or whatever all those weather changes are called) shifted drastically yesterday - it was a gorgeous, 80-something degree day and then at night, it got downright COLD!!  My migraine headache was already predicting the shift.  :(

I am thinking...
about my blessings.  I tend to dwell on what I don't have and which prayer requests haven't been answered yet (or are answered with NO or WAIT!) ... but I have SO MUCH to be thankful for.  God's goodness permeates my life - even IN those things that aren't going the way I expected. 

I am thankful...
I was released from jury duty yesterday ... and I didn't even have to say anything or request it (due to lack of child care).  God just seemingly worked it out without my intervention.  I think He'd do that a lot more often, if I'd just stay out of the way!! 
When I worked full-time, I had a sign on my desk that said,
"Good Morning.  I will be handling all your problems today.  I do not need your help.  ~God." 
In the kitchen...
dirty dishes :(   I wasn't home at all yesterday (seriously, gone from 8 a.m. until 8 p.m.!!) ... My husband and kids took care of their own supper - and while my daughter unloaded the dishwasher for me, she DID NOT load it back up :(  but that is probably because she knows I like it loaded "just so" and was afraid I'd re-arrange everything she put in anyway. 
I am wearing...
dare I admit that I'm still in my nightgown at 11:10 a.m.?!?!?  :-O

I am creating...

blog entries. 
I am going...
NO WHERE until 4 p.m. when I have to work in the church/school office for an hour.  Yesterday I was gone all day:  I had jury pool selection, then I worked at the school all day, then I had a cup of tea at Panera with a friend, and lastly, there was a ladies' meeting at church that lasted until almost 8 p.m.

I am wondering...

what the future holds ... however, I'm not too worried as I know WHO holds the future. 

I am reading...

nothing right now ... catching up on magazines before I get into THE HELP. 

I am hoping...
and praying that my 2 older children and my husband are having a good day. 
I am looking forward to...

Saturday ... I think I am going SHOPPING all day w/ a friend or two!!!  :) 

I am hearing...

Winnie the Pooh, Miriam's newest obsession.  Thankful for a little break from CURIOUS GEORGE. 

Around the house...
little stacks of STUFF I need to take care of.  Bathrooms that should get cleaned.  Laundry, as always. 


I am pondering...

the book THE SHACK that I just finished reading.  I love its emphasis on God wanting a RELATIONSHIP with us.  Knowing Him and pleasing Him is NOT about following rules but about building that relationship. 
"Life takes a bit of time and a lot of relationship."  and "Relationships are never about power, and one way to avoid the will to hold power over another is to choose to limit oneself - to serve."  ~Quotes from The SHACK. 

One of my favorite things...
a cup of tea and good conversation.


A few plans for the rest of the week:
working every afternoon this week and next from 4-5 p.m. to cover that last hour in the office because one of our secretaries is gone.
Wednesday night - our church's children's choir "Patch the Pirate" club will be singing for the service -then having a party afterwards.
Thursday - piano lesson day ... lately, my husband has been taking the kids so I can have an hour and a half to myself! 

Friday - our school's 1st home volleyball game - and from then on basketball and volleyball take over our Friday nights until February as my son is on the BB team. 

The Verdict:

Potential Juror #23 was DISMISSED!!  :)

Phew.

There is, of course, a story behind this verdict.

In short,Miriam and I arrived (a few minutes EARLY) at the courthouse ... only to be told that our cellphones not only had to be TURNED OFF, but they were to be put in our vehicles!!  So, we trekked the seeming 1/2 mile back to the car (the parking situation at our courthouse is LOUSY!!) and got back to the courthouse right about on time - only to hear THE ELEVATOR WAS BROKEN, and we had to take the stairs up to the 3rd floor courtroom for jury selection. 

I arrived in the already-full courtroom and knew I had to stay near the back because I had Miriam with me.  So far, I had only given my name to the person at the metal detector at the entrance - and now to the county clerk (city clerk?  court clerk?) lady.  We stood near the door, and a really nice man offered me his seat.  Chivalry is not dead.  :)  (There were more seats, but they were way towards the front/judge's bench.)

Miriam was SO good ... she ate her cheerio snack, drank some milk, looked at a few books I'd brought while we waited 20 minutes for instructions.  FINALLY, someone came out to speak to us - and then we were numbered.  I was #23.  Afterwards, 3 names were called - mine was the third - and then the man said, "You are dismissed." 

And that was it.  I really, really had not expected it to be that easy (well, except for all the walking - back to my car and up 3 flights of stairs!).  THANK YOU, Lord!! 

Case closed.

Insomnia.

Yes, it really is 1:39 a.m. ... and yes, the picture above represents ME!

May I share this somehow humorous (or maybe I'll see it that way tomorrow?!) and mostly ironic essay of WHY NORMAL PEOPLE SHOULD BE ASLEEP AT 1:39 a.m. (btw, it is now 1:40 a.m.).

1.  Because normal people have normal babies who sleep normal hours.  I had 2 of those.  I read "Growing Kids God's Way" before my first 2 children were born ... if you don't know about Gary Ezzo and his very controversial "parent-led parenting" methods, which some parents consider insanity and torture, don't bother to get informed.  His movement was pretty big in the 1990s/early 2000s when we had Andrew and Anna; I'm not hearing much about it any more.  Back in the day, it was being taught in churches, and my friends were HUGE fans of the Ezzo way.

I wasn't a devote Ezzo follower; however, I agreed with him enough that I knew I *did not* want a child-led family (because I honestly believed I was somewhat smarter than these kids I was given!) ... AND as a result, we had a wonderful schedule that fit into MY way of doings and my first 2 children were WONDERFUL sleepers for the most part.  They took 2 hour naps at the same time every day, they slept 10-12 hours per night, going to bed on their own between 8-9 p.m.

And along came Miriam ... and old age ... and suddenly I am somehow being bossed around by an almost-22-month old child that WILL NOT sleep when I want/need her to.  We've had issues with this since she was born ... it took me 7 months to get her to sort of sleep through the night.  I was too tired to be tough; I was too happy to have a baby that I didn't mind seeing her at 2 a.m.; but I am too old to live like this!!

And because of our off schedule as of late, my child is going to sleep consistently (do I get brownie points for CONSISTENCY??) between 11 p.m. and 1 a.m.!  She does sleep 10-12 hours a night - but you can do the math and see what time she wakes up.  Which means either she does not nap OR she naps somewhere around dinner time because she is SO crabby that I can not abide her any longer.

This has exacerbated my night owl issues.  Nights used to be MINE ... it was my time to unwind.  I needed this time for ME ... ALONE.  Now I share it with a toddler who demands "milk!", "juice!", "color", "come here!", "take this!" etc etc at regular intervals ... and yes, she occasionally adds a "please" because she thinks that will get her everything she wants.  True, for the most part. 

Don't worry - we have determined to NOT raise a spoiled brat, little princess, late-in-life child.

We're working on it - but as in any trial and process, it is not easy right smack dab in the middle of it.

And so, back to my point:  normal people have normal children who sleep during normal hours.  You can draw your own conclusions what that says about ME!  :)

2.  Normal people don't blog at 1:54 a.m. (!!) ... it is that time of night that a person can get a little giddy ... Obviously, I do.  It is a time of night when people will write things that they will wish they hadn't in the morning ... and yet, they will hope it entertained someone besides themselves.

Writing this late does make one a little - yawn - sleepy.

3.  I do have a fairly SERIOUS - and potentially NORMAL - issue on my mind.  You may or may not know that I was called up for jury duty this quarter (Sept - Dec 2011), and TOMORROW I have to report for a jury pool.  I am frankly a little a lot SCARED TO DEATH!!!

I'm not really a very rational, logically-thinking person all the time ... I am somewhat wish-washy actually.  I can see being on a jury and getting the facts really confused - and then what if I condemned an innocent person to a punishment they didn't deserve?!  Or what if I was the only juror who thought the person on trial was guilty (or not guilty) and would I have the courage to stand alone? 

I think I've watched too many criminal shows on TV and read too many suspense books.

I'm sure it isn't that complicated ... and I exaggerate my fears a lot a little here.

My other issues IS my baby.  I'm a stay-at-home mom and what do I do with my baby if I'm called up for jury duty??  I don't have family nearby; but I do have friends who might watch her - but they have lives and obligations and appointments.  Granted, our judge at the initial meeting we had as potential jurors instilled in us our civic duty to serve despite the inconvenience ... but the question remains:  what would I do with my baby, especially as they said there WAS a potential trial coming up that included a minimum week of being sequestered - not that I wouldn't cherish a whole week isolated in a hotel, eating good food (they promised we'd be fed well!) and not dealing with a non-sleeping baby.

But seriously, I can't imagine. 

So, at 8:30 a.m., Miriam and I will be dragging ourselves into the jury pool meeting to face whatever fate awaits me.

PS  While I joke about all this, I would really appreciate a little prayer that God would intervene on my behalf in this jury thing ... I really don't even know WHAT is the right approach to it all is!

Stay tuned Monday to hear what THE JUDGE RULES.

(It's 2:10 a.m. Good night!)

Conny

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day

My dream as a child was always to get married and have children.  I didn't really want a career or to be in the ministry or much else except to have 3 or 4 children to raise and a husband to love.  I pictured idealist scenes of dinner on the table, stair step children sitting around it, and a handsome man at the head.  I day-dreamed about reading story books together, well-dressed children going to Sunday School, and siblings who played tag and hide-and-go-seek together on warm summer evenings ...

The reality of life is that I don't always get a decent dinner on the table, my children are more staggered than stair-step, and I'm fortunate if we all get to church on time in something that has at least been ironed!  I did get that handsome husband though!!  ;) 

After being married for about 2 years, having a baby began to consume my life and thoughts as soon as my husband said that he was ready for us to try to start a family!  We knew I might have medical issues that might hinder me from getting pregnant, but I held on to hope and faith that the God who knew the desires of my heart could perform a miracle.  After a few more years, our miracle came in the form of medical intervention ... it's a long story and it was a long journey - but we did finally get my heart's desire in Andrew who was born after we'd been married almost 6 years.  With the advice and help of a reproductive endocrinologist, Anna followed 2 years and 2 months later. 

We knew we'd been blessed beyond what we deserved or expected ... but couldn't help want MORE of this wonderful thing called CHILDREN!  :)  Following a more "natural" approach of getting healthy through diet and exercise, I did surprisingly get pregnant one more time in early September 2002.  I actually had no idea until October 14 ... and on October 17, 2002, we lost our already-loved baby to a miscarriage. 

It was another long journey and exercise in faith and acceptance of God's will, I finally gave up on having that last, 3rd child here on earth a few years ago.  As God is apt to do, He completely took us by surprise in May of 2009 when I found out I was yet again pregnant!!  Miriam was born that December, and she has been such a healing balm in my life - and for the first time ever, I feel my family is complete.  And yet Miriam did not replace the baby we lost in 2002. 

As Christians, we have the hope that we will see these miscarried and stillborn babies again in heaven!  I have since been involved in support groups for married, Christian woman dealing with infertility ... and have heard so many stories of families who have lost children in the saddest of circumstances, and I have several friends who have never been able to have a biological child at all.  I have a such a big place in my heart for these women and families.  And yet, God is good ... He knows why I get to have 3 children, and some aren't able to have even one. 

Each year, I like to take time to acknowledge Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day on October 15, especially since it is so close to the anniversary of the day I lost my baby. 

Older posts about Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day:

October 15, 2010

October 15, 2009

Capturing the Heart

My mind is almost always going ... In fact, I recently read a quote that resonates with me SO MUCH:  "I want to go to sleep, but my brain won't stop talking to me."  That's me, not just at night, but most of the time.  Recently my brain and I have been discussing the reasons children who grow up in "Christian" homes abandon their family's faith - based on my observations of my own childhood, growing up in church, and now working closely with a church and its Christian school. 

My conclusion is that the faith did not get into their hearts.  But my question is HOW does a parent instill a faith that is real into their children? 



For me personally, I think instilling faith in children entails 2 main facets (among a lot of others, of course! and beside the obvious most important thing of just being available and involved).  I'm no expert ... I'm a seeker!  I have read plenty of books on Christian parenting, sought out references in the Bible, and listened to many a sermon about the family.  My top 2 goals in my parenting are these:

#1 - PRAY for your children.   PRAY PRAY PRAY, ask God to honor your motives, not your actions because as sinners, our most well-intentioned deeds sometimes go astray.  I ask God to allow my children to grow up well DESPITE me, not BECAUSE OF me. 

I think parenting is my biggest responsibility, ever!!  I know most parents feel that way, but for me because I went through years of infertility and medical interventions of various sorts, I see my children as a privilege not a right.  Because God has given me these gifts that we did not come by easily, I cherish them so much - but I also feel like God has entrusted me with something I wouldn't have had if I hadn't pursued it so relentlessly for years ... I asked for them, I got them.  Now I have to do right by them!! 

My #2 personal goal for my children is to be A REAL CHRISTIAN myself.  My kids know my weaknesses ... and I don't pretend to not have them.  I grew up thinking that for church we all put on our happy, Christian faces even if things were falling totally apart at home.  We DID NOT talk about the "bad" things ... or the difficulties we went through.  While I do appreciate a need for DISCRETION in a family (some things SHOULD NOT be talked of to others), I grew up thinking everyone else had a perfect family EXCEPT ME - and we were hiding that fact!! 

Looking back and now talking more openly to my parents, we realize the folly of living like that ... sometimes you just have to admit that things aren't as lovely as they should be at the particular moment (which was exacerbated in my family growing up by my parents' divorces prior to becoming Christians - we were a "broken" family, made whole by Christ, but still living with the consequences of choices). 

In sharing trials or reality of situations, others can pray for you but maybe also understand you better ... and unfortunately, potentially gossip about you (which I think is what my parents wanted to avoid) ... but I'd like to think that REAL Christian friends wouldn't do that (though I'm not naive enough to believe they wouldn't!).  Again, there is a lot to be said for discretion & discernment!! 

While my kids know my faults, they know that I want nothing more than to serve God, love my family, take care of our home, and do what is right.  They know how to pray about things ... and they know when to pray for ME!  I'm thankful for my husband who gives the kids a little more stability and logic to lean on!!  ;)  I don't expect more of my kids than I do of myself - I don't hold them up to unreasonable standards.  We talk - a lot - about life, God, situations, character, etc ... I tell them of my desire for them to have a REAL relationship with God - I tell them I don't just want them to follow a bunch of "Christian rules" - I tell them I expect them to do right because it is right, not because it keeps them out of trouble - and I like to think I hold them accountable for their own bad choices.  I also like to think I balance discipline with love. 

 I am thankful for many friends who are and have "successfully" raised their children because it encourages me.  I also realize kids grow up and make their own choices (which are sometimes not the wisest!).  I want nothing more than my children to leave home - for college, life, marriage - but to be happy to come back home to me.  I want them to think of their childhood as a happy time, despite the hardships we sometimes faced.  Most of all, I want them to know and believe GOD IS REAL so that when they are grown up, they will raise their children (my grandchildren!!) to KNOW HIM and to have a faith that is REAL. 

I love the phrase that is often used among our churches when a child wants to pray to accept Jesus as their Savior ... we say, "Pray and ask Jesus to come into your heart."  That's where HE wants to live and rule ...