The Tale of 2 Fathers

I am one of those people who have 2 fathers ... It's not really unusual these days, but growing up I was one of the few in my Christian school/church environment to come from a broken home; although I think, in our case, "broken" wasn't a good word for it.  My step dad, who adopted me and who will always be Dad, FIXED a lot of things for us.  Although, as many a non-biological child would feel, sometimes I resented him - or probably didn't treat him with the respect he deserved when I was growing up, I appreciate that he allowed me to mature and work through my problems until I understood more about why he and my mom did what they did.  A lot of that came after I became an adult and a parent myself. 

My dad is also ultimately the one who led our family to God.  He knew the Lord but had been disregarding him while he lived his younger days.  After marrying my mom, together they began to seek a way to keep their marriage together - and that started with first the Army chapel and then going back to my dad's Baptist roots.  It wasn't the "roots" and tradition that saved us though - it was finding a personal relationship with Jesus Christ that we all eventually shared.  For over 30 years now, I have had Jesus in my heart and as my Guide and Friend.  Many people are responsible for sharing God with me, but it was my Dad that initiated us moving closer to Him.  Again, I am thankful today more than ever.

My biological father is really the antithesis to my dad.  My father (as I'll call him to make the distinction between him & my dad) is independent, doesn't want to be tied down, and has no interest in anything to do with God.  While he is a "good" person as such, he really is ultimately in this life for himself.  I think that was one of the reasons he and my mother got a divorce ... he didn't want a family to tie him down.  I spent a lot of time with my father each summer growing up, but sadly, I can't say that the things I learned from him will do me any good in my own life or for eternity.  I guess I learned mostly how the decisions we make affect us and others, negatively and positively.

For example, my father's father died on the Russian front in World War II.  My father grew up without him and with a mother who had to work all the time to make ends meet, so he basically raised himself.    Now, you might say that is sad ... and it is ... but it is no excuse for my father's irresponsibility.  His sister, who grew up in the exact same situation, has been a responsible wife and mother for many, many years and has always tried to be a responsible, caring, selfless person.  My father was responsible in that he held down a job, threw some token money at me occasionally, invested some time in me when I was younger, but in the end, he really only cares about himself.  I wish he cared enough about himself to realize he needs a Savior, but I can see how pride and self-sufficiency will not allow him (just yet) to acknowledge that need.  He - in his mind - doesn't need anything or anybody.  :( 

I love both of these men, both of my fathers ... I know God had a plan for them both being in my life.  As they both are now reaching the ages of 75 (my dad's birthday is this week), I think more and more about how they are both ending their lives as such (I realize & I hope that they both have a lot more living to do, but you know what I mean).  My dad is living for God, continuing to be faithful in church and in his life, trying to build strong relationships and leave a godly heritage for us.  My father is trying to get as much as he can for himself; he doesn't make time to invest in his grandchildren aside from giving them money (which we appreciate but we'd rather SEE HIM); and every decision he makes is for himself without regarding anyone else.  

What a study of contracts.  As I share both of my fathers with my children, I leave them with fond memories of my biological father as he did try in his own way to be on edges of my life, but just as I was adopted into my dad's family, it is this adopted heritage that I will pass down to my children that will benefit them for eternity. 

Of course, I am most thankful for the father of my children ... Dan's influence is the best thing my children have going for them!!  I am truly blessed to have him in my life every day, sincerely striving - with God's help - to be the best father he can be ... and as a bonus for me:  the best husband too.   :)

Happy Father's Day

Conny