February 7 - Love Does Not Seek Its Own (Way)

I Corinthians 13:5a " ... [Love] seekth not her own ... "

The Bible speaks a lot about esteeming others higher than ourselves.  Philippians 2:3-4 states:  "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.  Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on those things of others." 

Almost everyone loves themselves - some a little, some a lot.  And Matthew Henry says that isn't even a bad thing:  "Indeed self-love, in some degree, is natural to all men.  And a reasonable love of self is by our Saviour made a measure of our love to others.  Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself."   I believe that we DO need to take care of ourselves - get enough sleep, brush our teeth, watch out for our health, take some time off, etc.  HOWEVER, when taking care of #1 becomes more important than anyone or anything else then we have a problem.  It's like having a newborn (or 13 month old!!??!) who wakes up in the middle of the night - that's not the time to worry about our beauty sleep!  It's time to esteem someone else higher than ourself.

I am amazed (shocked?!) when people act so blatantly self important.  With NO regard for anyone else, they forge ahead - often with good but delusional intentions - pushing their own agendas through without regarding the effects on those around them because they think they are more important or smarter than anyone else.  They can't even see any more how selfish they are acting.  Rudeness, pushiness, and what the world calls "assertiveness" prevail.  God hasn't called us to be doormats or push-overs, but He does require us to esteem others FIRST.  In marriage, EACH PARTNER (ideally) should consider the other before making any decision or taking any action.  If we could just realize that what we do - at home or at work or at church - affects OTHERS and that every decision we make usually negatively or positively sets a tone or precedent for those around us.

Matthew Henry goes on to say, "But charity [love] never seeks its own to the hurt of others.  It often neglects its own for the sake of others."  Deference to someone else isn't always easy, especially if they don't even seem to appreciate it.  I know very few people who can live selflessly without feeling just a little (or a lot) resentful about it for a while.  It's hard to remember that life really isn't "all about ME." 

God has promised He would take care of us (I Peter 5:7).  It might be hard to believe because He isn't a tangible human presence; however, the more I trust Him, the more I realize that HIS BLESSINGS and HIS CARE over me is shown in tangible acts that I can't even begin to explain except that they are God's personal kindness to me when I can't take care of something myself.   I can safely follow God's command to defer to others' needs before my own because I know He personally is watching out for my needs.