I have a feeling this is going to be one of my blog posts of many, many words! :) Sorry, Joy, no bullet points ... ;)
My heart and head are full - and when I get that way, I have to write to process everything ... just how I have always been. Seeing the written words just help me think clearer - and in this case, I will share some of these things with you (feel free to zone out right here - you've been warned). ;)
So, Friday we drove to see my in laws (2 hour drive) ... and my husband had just been given a CD with a sermon on it from a Christian college group that had visited at the school that day. It was a sermon by their pastor, & I'm assuming president of the school. Since we were very unfamiliar about the college, we thought we'd listen to the sermon CD to get an idea of what kind of man their pastor was since they spoke - of course - very highly of him.
The sermon started in Job - the thoughts were about suffering and God's grace - and the pastor made the point that if we had as much suffering and evil in our lives as we did goodness and blessing, we'd probably be consumed (also referencing Isaiah's comment that it is only because of God's mercy that we are indeed NOT consumed). Even Job acknowledged the goodness and working of God through all the bad things that continually happened to him. I didn't know where all this was going until ...
The pastor began to share with his congregation that he was about set some things straight - that there had been some rumors going around, & he was going to tell them EVERYTHING for the record. ?? He went on to explain how he'd first wanted to have a family meeting with his 3 children - and then he'd lay everything out for the rest of the people. I waited to hear what was going to be announced??! I mean, it sounds maybe somewhat - scandalous??!!
However, what he shared in that sermon was that his wife had 40 days before been diagnosed with an incurable form of cancer ... she was dying - and the doctors had given her 6 weeks to live. He himself thought she wouldn't even make it that long. And the rest of the CD was his explanation of her condition, what they mutually had decided to do and not do in way of keeping her comfortable and treating her ... and the great sorrow this all was bringing to their lives. I guess you can't really understand the impact of it all unless you heard the sermon (or perhaps you've gone through this yourself with a loved one).
My initial reaction was that this sure was an odd sermon CD to give out to churches & schools that you visited!! It had been preached 2 years ago, and surely the dear lady was dead a long time now ... but then I listened longer - and it was quite a lengthy message - to a man who had in the last month and a half learned that his not-yet 55 year old wife was doing to die. With many tears and trying to gain control of his emotions, he talked about how much he loved her, depended on her - what a hole this would leave in his heart ... he explained how the congregation could go about saying their last good-byes to her, how they'd have her funeral soon - and then how they would have to be very patient with him and let him have some time alone to grieve and to process his loss. I think Dan & I were both spell-bound at that point - not out of fascination but out of a complete feeling of loss and sadness for a man we didn't even know! I know there were a few times I felt like weeping with the man - and I processed so many thoughts of - "what if this were us - me or Dan - one of our children?" Life is so unpredictable - and NO ONE is exempted from anything.
The final points of that sermon were the obvious - LIVE EVERY DAY as if IT WERE YOUR LAST. You just don't know what tomorrow holds ... you have no guarantees of tomorrow. But the very final point this preacher had was "God is good." No matter what. Life hurts - cancer hurts - death hurts ... but GOD is good.
So, that was sermon #1. Later that night I was reading book 7 of the Mitford series (LOVE this series & I know some of you have read it - like Amy). In this book, the minister who is the main character goes through a deep depression - and when he finally works his way out, he preaches a sermon. A 4 word sermon: "In everything, give thanks." And he goes on to say that he wanted the people to not so much focus on the "give thanks" - but on the "in everything." In the good, in the bad ... and I went on to consider all the other "in everything's" we need to be thankful for - the illnesses, the hard times, the financial difficulties, the heartache, the losses, the plans gone awry, and many more things that are hard. Just hard. Give thanks in EVERYTHING. Of course, it is easy to count our blessings ... but do we include the difficult lessons we have to learn as blessings? The painful experiences? The disappointments? Maybe to say they are a "blessing" is pushing it - but can we be thankful because they are the method of God's working for a season?
Maybe I'm just delayed in really learning these kind of concepts - but somehow lately it all seems so new to me - it is like it is finally making sense to me. I think I was engulfed in a self-absorbed world for so long that in these last few years where I have finally maybe let go of some of my own ways and my own independence that God has finally broken through to my thick head and my sometimes cold heart. I have, of course, so much more to learn - but I am thankful for the sermons that have come my way lately.
(There is actually a 3rd sermon I heard tonight as we went to another town to hear a 75 year old preacher who I had last heard in 1987 when I was a teenager at the church I grew up in - so I'll just say [in short] that he also mentioned that everyone must die ... it's not a matter of "if I die ...", it is a matter of "when I die..." and we need to be ready for that day - not only for our eternal destiny but in the way we leave things should we be called sooner than we expect.)
) with her sister Anna:
