I am very blessed because I got one of the "good guys". When I first met my husband, I noticed his green eyes - and ok, the fact that he was pretty buff due to Army ROTC ... but all that paled in comparison to his kindness and sincerity. Recently, a friend's college-age daughter asked me why I married my husband - and my initial response was "his character".
In the last 17 years, as with most married couples, we have had our good times and our very, very bad, low-down, awful times. Unfortunately, most of the bad times were because of my selfishness and his inability to understand me - but it has taken time and effort on both our parts to get to know each other and to COMMUNICATE (I capitalize because it is so important) our needs, feelings, and hearts. Sadly, we wasted a lot of time by ignoring the problems we had in these areas, but in the last few years, we are now making up for the lost time.
In the end, divorce is not an option and murder is messy, so we decided to get along. :) And we really, really do actually LIKE each other. We're a good team (for the most part), and despite the little things that irritate each other, we are a lot alike. We aren't a case of "opposites attracting" - we get each other - we finish each other's sentences - we can talk for hours - we laugh at the same things - we just click.
Ok, back to my point: with a new baby in the house, I know my low-maintenance husband has been shoved to the back burner. He doesn't resent that - and thankfully, he takes care of himself. He helps a lot too - changes diapers (hallelujah!), sings to the baby, takes care of the older kids in the mornings, and takes out (or has Andrew take out) the trash (hallelujah). He doesn't complain much - but I've seen his face light up when I offered a simple gesture such as bringing him a cold drink while he's watching his baseball game. Or when I finally do stop doing my this-and-that around the house and sit down by him, he makes a comment like, "Wow, you're sitting by me!". I guess I don't realize how much a little thing like that means to him. I'm not really a "nurturer" by nature - and I have always just taken care of myself so I figure everyone else ought to as well - but I am learning how to look for opportunities to serve others more.
And for this very reason, I've decided I need to make a more conscious effort to show my husband that I really do appreciate & love him. And that is why I decided maybe I can use my blog as a reminder to myself to do something to "bless his heart." I grew up in Tennessee, and everyone was always saying "bless his/her heart" ... occasionally, they'd say, "bless her/his pointed head" - but that is another story. :)
Maybe you can give me some tips - maybe you're a natural at nurturing others - maybe you can't believe that I'm such a failure at not appreciating what I have - but just maybe you are reminded too to do something nice for your man today. So, I'm putting this out there: Bless His Heart today.
2 comments:
Thanks Conny! What a wonderful reminder that we need to take the time to nurture our marriages.
In PWOC this past semester we just did the book "Becoming the Woman of His Dreams". Even for a very experienced wife (almost 24 years!) there was a lot for me to learn in this book,and also a lot of good reminders of stuff I know I should do but maybe I don't really do them as often as I should! The book also includes some great ideas of nice things to do for your husband, and questions for you to discuss with him--some of Rob's answers surprised me! It has improved our communication--which is something that can ALWAYS be improved upon, in my opinion!!
seriously ~ Bless YOUR heart!
I'm too brain-fried to tell you anything helpful, except that if you are looking for ways to be sweet and encourage him, God will show you ~ you just have to listen to that nudge in your head that says, Go and ... :-)
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