My Personal Public Service Announcement!

I hesitate to say very much about this - but it is something very near & dear to my heart! One out of 10 couples today face infertility (that's about 2 million couples in the U.S.!). I am sure we all know that couple about whom it is whispered, "They just never could have children." By the grace of God and the help of modern medicine, I am not among those couples...however, the lingering effects of infertility in my own life experience have changed me forever (dramatic as that may sound, it is absolutely, positively true!).

When we were first married, Dan and I imagined we would have 3 or 4 children - and maybe more! Dan grew up in a large, close family which made him want the same thing for us - and I grew up with step siblings and half siblings scattered all over the place - and I longed to have a cohesive, traditional, close-knit family of my own. However, it was not a shock to me when two years of trying to get pregnant passed by and nothing happened. I had a history of thyroid problems, but I had no idea how much further those problems went! I would find out over time.

For years and years I dwelt in a world of infertility that I shared with very few friends or family. Even my husband - though completely involved in the whole infertility thing - was a stranger there sometimes. Thankfully, via the Internet, in 1997, God led me to find a support group of Christian, married women facing infertility. Suddenly, I wasn't alone! This group has now morphed into Hannah's Prayer though it was called "Ladies in Waiting" when I joined. We were ladies who were waiting ... on the Lord and on a child and on results from infertility testing and on cycles to come and go.

Anyway, suffice it to say, I was consumed with having babies for a long time. And with my personality type, consumed is the right word. I have never been good at "letting go and letting God"; at trusting anyone, let alone God; or at not getting my way in my own time. Thankfully, I've come a long way - but I still struggle so much with these issues in other areas of my life. And yet - my testimony is this: that GOD's TIMING is PERFECT!! His timing isn't ours - His ways aren't ours - His ways are far better, even if we don't understand (Proverbs 3:5&6).

We now have 2 healthy children - and one child waiting for us in heaven (who would be turning 6 years old in May). Because we were in the Army during these years of infertility, I was able to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist at the Portsmouth Naval Hospital while we were stationed in Virginia. Through the Infertility Clinic there, my diagnosis of poly-cystic ovarian syndrome was made and so much more was able to be done for our medical situation. Even before that while living in Germany, we were able to have a surgery that was needed to further increase our chances of getting pregnant. Each step was ordered by God; our children were - all three - born at His perfect time. I am so incredibly thankful that God answered my prayers that were prayed all those years - in an almost drunken state like Hannah of the Bible - begging God for a child. And God remembered me too (I Samuel 1:19-20) - not once but TWICE and even three times.

But before I get too carried away with my own story (and believe me, I could write a book, if I knew that anyone would benefit from it!), I just wanted to show how infertility has affected and changed just me; it still is a huge part of who I am today. There are so many, many other couples who have been through their own version of infertility. Some still don't have children; some never will. Some will be privileged to adopt, and others will lovingly foster children in their hearts and homes. Many, like me, have been allowed to have a child or several. The journey of infertility is often painful, lonely, embarrassing, invasive, and frustrating. Honestly, it led me through some dark days that I am ashamed to have wasted in depression and anger. Some of the pain still lingers, the depression creeps in occasionally, but I am at the point now where I am slowly accepting the fact that God used infertility to help me learn to trust Him more, to give Him control, and to learn more about surrendering my will for His perfect plan, even if that plan wasn't exactly what I had imagined.

Field Trip!

Here in Mid-South - Middle-on-No-Where - Missouri, the dogwoods are blooming!! On this somewhat overcast - but warm - day, I went on a field trip with my daughter's 3rd grade class to Mansfield, Missouri. This is where Laura Ingalls Wilder spent over 35 years of her life and where she wrote her famous Little House books.

There are 2 homes to visit. One is the original cabin that turned into a lovely home (Laura & Almanzo added on & added on as they were able). We weren't allowed to take pictures inside of the beautiful antiques or the pieces of furniture that Almanzo made.

It's hard to imagine that Laura Ingalls Wilder and her family actually lived and worked here. Their daughter Rose also lived upstairs for a while and wrote stories, books, and essays. I am anxious to read her book, Let the Hurricane Roar. I have read all (or most) of the Little House books, but never anything by Rose.

There is also the Rock House maybe a mile down the road. Rose had this home built for her parents after the success of her first book. Laura & Almanzo only lived in the Rock House for 8 years before moving back to the farm where they felt more comfortable.

The Rock House is a cute, little English Tudor style house. It had gorgeous French doors and windows EVERY WHERE - light and airy ... and a bathroom with a toilet that you flushed by just pushing a button (very chic for the time period - 1928 when it was built!).

While living at the Rock House, Laura began writing her books.

We ate at a lovely little picnic area by the Ingalls-Wilder farm - and the children had fun running around outside. Just being in those surroundings made life feel "simple," and the nostalgia of the old homes brought thoughts of the olden days where picnics and running through the grass, playing tag, was just part of the every day of childhood. I'm glad I got to experience this day with my daughter and her class!

Happiness

This evening, my family finally got home from Iowa where they were visiting with my husband's mother and grandmother. I was so happy to see them - and we had a lot of catching up to do about each others' weekends.

My husband's 90 year old grandmother has a brain tumor (she was diagnosed last summer). She was recently put back into a nursing home since she no longer has the strength in her legs to support herself, and it is impossible to lift her without the help of several people. Her mind is still clear, yet her body is slowly shutting down as this tumor grows. She can barely swallow now, and many other things are becoming more and more difficult. She also can't really sleep any more - she cat naps - but she can not reach that long, restful, deep, restoring level of sleep that lasts many hours. She is constantly tired - but there is no relief.

Hearing about all her health problems has made me remember how fleeting and painful and harsh this old life of sin is! Today I am thankful life on earth is but a vapor. She is a godly woman who even now is a natural optimist. She seldom complains about her circumstances. I was very humbled to hear that during this visit with Dan and my kids that she talked very little about herself and her illness - but instead she was more interested in hearing about how everyone else is doing.

In Sunday School today, we were continuing the study of Secrets of a Happy Heart by Debi Pryde. The topic of happiness came up, and it was stated that when we are unhappy, we are sinning. Whether our unhappiness is directed at a person, an injustice, or a circumstance, allowing that situation to control us and make us unhappy is pretty much like telling God He doesn't know what He is doing by allowing us to be in the unhappy place that we are in.

There are many examples of people in the Bible who had great injustices heaped upon them - and yet, they remained happy (not like, "OH GOODY! I get to suffer again," but they trusted that even in the bad places, GOD was working). Joseph, in the Old Testament, is a prime example - he had injustice heaped upon injustice, but in the end was able to realize the purpose God had for it all. Some people will never see the ultimate purpose - for example, persecuted Christians, who are tortured and killed, will not know the purpose of it all in this life - but they get to go to heaven sooner than had they lived a full life. I am thankful that in heaven, the tears will be wiped away and the wrongs of this world will be made right!

I think Dan's grandmother has chosen happiness. It can't be pleasant there in the nursing home, to have constant pain and boredom, to never feel rested, and to never be able to get comfortable or to even enjoy her food. Heaven must be so much sweeter to her: no more PAIN. I know I whine about my migraines that last but a few hours, I can't begin to fathom a brain tumor that aches more and more as it grows. I complain about being tired when I have only gotten 4 or 5 hours of sleep, I can't imagine not getting good, deep sleep for days and days on end. I get discouraged about having to do hard things at work or school, but at least I have a purpose in life and am able to work. I can move my limbs, and I can walk about as I please. Given this perspective, there truly is nothing to complain about!

Lately I have often heard sayings like "God never promised you a life free from trouble, He only promised to be with you." or "Sometimes God calms the storm, but sometimes God lets the storm rage and calms His child." Being a Christian brings no guarantee of an easy life. The good things we have are only ours by His mercy.

The longer I live and observe other peoples' lives, the more I see that truly selfish people are the most unhappy. And convictingly, I have seen my own selfishness and my own unhappiness as the sin that it is. Sadly, just because I realize all this today, doesn't mean that I will remember it for long - and no doubt I will find myself feeling unhappy over and over again. However, I am thankful that today, just for these moments, I am aware of God's constant presence with me and His constant working in my life, no matter if life seems fair or not - no matter if people do what I expect or not - no matter if I feel well or not. Happiness is truly a CHOICE - it's the choice God wants us to make.
Today I'm joining Like a Warm Cup of Coffee for MMM!

Beautfiul Flowers on a Beautiful Day

While my husband and children are in Iowa this weekend, visiting with Dan's mother and his 90 year old grandmother, I've been enjoying the quiet of my empty house. I really needed some time to recover from the busy week - as well as time to get caught up on housework. My vehicle is now (finally) clean - and the laundry piles are getting smaller - but my FAVORITE thing today was spending some time outside puttering around my one & only flower bed.

We moved into our house about 4 1/2 years ago, and I immediately planted a "small" lilac bush by my front door. It has thrived (and spread!) over the years - and right now it is in full bloom (and fragrance!).

I love petunias. They are the only flower I've found so far that I can't kill or that doesn't just die from the neglect. This year I put in red ones. They match my RED front door :)

These hanging baskets don't match the front door, but they sure are pretty! (and the price was right - $4.99 each at Lowe's)

The View from the Teacher's Desk

Look at these eager students (that's my son in the blue shirt in the middle)!
Who wouldn't want to spend a week teaching these beautiful faces ;) They are good kids and a fun class. But I'm not a teacher - I don't have much patience or the know-how on conveying information about square roots, adverbs, and words ending in -able in an understandable manner. Talking and teaching are not my gifts.

Today I called in reinforcements! I do enjoy teaching my little German class of 3 students three days a week because I actually know what I'm doing - most of the time. Today, I had them teach the 5th & 6th graders a few words in German and serve some bratwurst, gummi bears, and Nutella, my favorite German treats.

It was a great way to end our week together...and perhaps left the 5th & 6th grade class with memories of me as a nice substitute teacher - not as the crazy lady who doesn't tolerate whining and whose patience wears out a little too quickly sometimes --- and who isn't a good Math teacher! ;) On another note, Wednesday was "Administrative Professional's Day" - formerly known as Secretary's Day. Even though I was part-time secretary, full time substitute teacher this week, I was still remembered for what I do in the office at church & school. :)

My husband got me roses - my kids got me a Diet Pepsi & a 3 Musketeers (they know me well!!) - and the church gave me a Gerber daisy, a gift card, and chocolate. A few other very sweet people treated me too! I got a yummy fresh cinnamon pastry from one of the teachers for breakfast, a Krispy Kreme donut from another as a snack - and this sweet (calorie free) gift bag from a friend. It was all so nice!! I truly don't feel worthy because I complain too much about my job and don't always have a servant's heart...but I'm thankful they keep me around anyway. Of course, there's no one else who wants the job! :)

Who Knew!!?

For lack of better things to blog about (substitute teaching has become kind of mundane by now...ha!), I will share my STYLE with you.

I took a style test recommended at another blog I visit - and here's what I found out:

I am 75% "Wine Country Style" (I knew I should have won the HGTV Dream House in Sonoma, CA this year!!). The irony is I don't even drink wine (I do like the colors of it - the burgundies and deep, rich aubergine -IE. eggplant- of grape juice and wine)! But I couldn't distinguish a dry wine from a sweet one or a German vintage from a Californian! Riesling? Merlot? I just don't know!


I like rooms like this one, which apparently is called "Wine Country Style":


Wine Country Style
Tuscan sun, here we come! The Wine Country style reflects the feelings evoked by the seaside regions of Europe such as the South of France, Spain, Italy and Greece. The style manages to be both refined and casual, such that you can mix beautiful antiques with more rustic wrought iron or wood and the result is both sophisticated and cozy.
Furniture is large and comfortable, colors are bright and cheery, and regardless of the color palette the spaces almost always feel warm. You can easily translate the style into the perfect family environment but you can just as easily emphasize the more formal pieces and make your room the perfect adult getaway.

So, yeah....I can relate to the SOUTHERN European part of that - Dan and I have spent some glorious days and weeks in Italy, France, and Greece in our former life (IE. our years in the Army). Even though I am 100% German, I definitely PREFER the style of the warmer Southern Europeans. :)

My love of Southern Europe seems to be confirmed again by this quiz because apparently I am also 13% French Eclectic, which amuses me because I am really NOT eclectic in my style in real life because I like things that are matchy-matchy...although I find I am understanding the mixing of patterns, florals, etc more and more as the trend continues to be mix-and-match decorating.

French Eclectic

Parlez-vous français? Even if the answer is no, you can confidently say your home does! French Eclectic somehow manages to be both formal and casual, classy and unassuming at the same time. You like your spaces to feel inviting from the moment you (or your guest) opens the front door and this feeling should continue even after you've entered your most formal room.
Even though there are French antiques here and gold details there, the rustic country elements provide a balance and warmth that seems to say, "come in, relax and stay a while." Your love of antiques leads you to flea markets, garage sales and hours of eBay hunting.

Lastly, I am - according to this survey - 12% Modern Elegance! I have to chuckle a little more. I am anything BUT elegant!!! However, perhaps like the infamous Myers-Briggs Personality test, they may be basing the outcome more on PREFERENCE than on what one really is! I'd PREFER to be much more ELEGANT any day!! ;)


Modern Elegance
Variety is the spice of life! And nowhere is this truer than in the design of your home. You may love contemporary, but wish it wasn't quite so cold and austere, or perhaps you're drawn to traditional rooms but you'd like to create a less cluttered and busy space. Transitional Style is here to marry those apparent contradicting designs.
And guess what? It's the contradictions that make the mix of contemporary and traditional so successful. The result is an elegant room that appeals to young and old alike. A sofa with modern lines blends seamlessly with a pair of traditional chairs. New fabrics work so well on antique pieces. It turns out that modern art looks even more exciting above a collection of traditional pieces. The room feels simple and sophisticated, elegant and hip.

If you try out the style test at sprooster. com, let me know what YOU are! Are we compatible?!!! Were you surprised? And did you think the results rang true to you?

I do like kind of "Old World" or "Old European" styles which may be somewhat comparable to the Wine Country thing. I can also go the opposite way and enjoy a room that is almost Victorian-y with ivory, lace, and soft colors in it. Not that any of this truly matters in the light of eternity- but this was a fun little test.

Tomorrow is Friday! Hallelujah!! :) By 5 o'clock tomorrow, I will have survived - by God's grace - another work week!! Hopefully I can be a little more domestic - and a little bit LAZY - this weekend.

From the Mouths of 5th Graders

I had "my" students write a letter to their teacher & a get-well note to her husband today.
I peeked at the notes before putting them in an envelope to mail. One boy wrote:

"Dear Mrs. H---- (the teacher),
We hope you come back soon. Mrs. Hutch--- (me) is not good at teaching Math. Thankfully the lessons have been easy...."

SEE, I told you I wasn't a teaching material!!!! :)

Another child wrote:

"Mrs. H-----(teacher),
We miss you and hope you come back soon. Love, J----
P.S. I still like Mrs. Hutch---- though."

I was much consoled to hear that! ;)

Mind Games

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13

Today was evidence of that! I survived the day - and even came home with a good attitude.




Much of life and service is a mind game. I don't mean that in some bizarre, manipulating way; I mean it's "all in your head." Today I determined in my mind - with God's help - to stay cheerful despite the circumstances...and the circumstances only got worse (not only were we out the teacher I'm replacing, another had to go to an appointment in the afternoon, and the lady who was working in the office had to go home sick!). Now, for a small Christian school, that doesn't leave too many staff members to fill in the gaps! Somehow we juggled schedules, classes, and people - and it was all taken care of. But best of all, I didn't have my usual attack of resistance to the changes in my plans! I guess in a way I had already surrendered my "day off" so I may as well have surrendered to the craziness of the day's schedule.


I waste a lot of time worrying needlessly and dreading things that aren't worthy of being dwelled on. If only I could always capture my thoughts before they turn negative (II Cor. 10:5, Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ). If what I know about God is true (He loves me, He's in control, He knows the end of each situation, He's working for my good even through the hard things), then I could cast down those things which go against the truth. Again, baby steps here! I'm learning, finally.


Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8.


Back in the 80's when computers first were becoming accessible to the average student, I heard the phrase "garbage in, garbage out" all the time when it came to entering DOS commands (did I just date myself?)! And I heard it applied to the mind as well. What we dwell on and think about does come out! The more good, pure, true thoughts that we fill our minds with, the more truth that will come out!


I'm a little afraid to write all this down - because I tend to put TOO MUCH pressure on myself & fail too quickly once I've had a tiny victory or break-through in a matter. I don't want to be pious and let pride take over - but I do want to win this mind game!

The Happy Non-Homemaker

Normally I have the day off on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but this week, I will be substitute teaching instead. I was saving my pictures for a Happy Homemaker post - but it may be a long time before I am that again (not sure how long this teacher will be out, her husband is recovering very slowly from major surgery).

While I am glad to help out at the school, honestly, truthfully, I resent the upheaval of my nice part-time work schedule just a little bit. I know God will use this week to stretch me (I'm not a teacher - dare I write that again??!) and to show me yet again it's not about me and my finely-tuned schedule. It's about serving others & doing what I can to help. It's a lesson I wish I had learned many years ago - but I'm a late bloomer! :)

Never the less, I will miss the following things on my days off this week - and they will be sweeter when I can do them again perhaps in the next week or two.

I love to "catch up" with God when everything is quiet on my days off. I can do that any time - but there is something special about being alone at home with only the Lord. I love quiet - no music, no noise - I crave it and look forward to it so much. Don't get me wrong though - I do have my "shows" that I like to have on in the background while I work sometimes. :) I rarely just sit & watch TV - although I do "waste" plenty of time on my computer, reading blogs, emails, and catching up on Facebook! I'm definitely NOT a perfect time manager!! :)
My side of the bed - my favorite place to sit & read books and my blogs & to write & to study. My other favorite place is on my couch (where I am right now) with a cozy blanket (on a chilly evening like tonight) - my kids running in and out of the room - and my husband asleep on the love seat near by.

I started out my household journal with this yellow notebook a few months ago - and just in the last few days I've been transcribing everything to a cute, new, hard-backed, spiral-bound journal! I write all the wonderful recipes I come across in there & other ideas and inspiration I find along the way.

I have never considered myself very domestic - but I'm slowly getting there. My cooking has improved significantly lately (finally! ) - and my appreciation for HOME is huge after having worked outside the home for almost 5 years now. No where is safer than home! Working in a ministry & with children, for me, it is so emotionally draining to listen to the problems other families have or to know about the heartache many face and often about the poor choices people (especially Christians) make that destroy their lives. It makes me just want to hug my own little family tighter & closer - and thank God for His protection and blessings and goodness. We don't deserve it, and life can change tragically in a moment. I need to be more thankful for the little things & the "normal" moments & the common day occurrences.

I will confess it isn't as easy for me as it sounds when I write it down in my blog. I feel sorry for myself, complain, get grumpy, and find myself very discontent with my life in general. I get jealous of those who have the life I used to live or who aren't fettered by a job. I mourn over missed opportunities and over what wasn't, unfulfilled dreams and wishes. I am sad that I'm not independently wealthy (ha! but seriously, wouldn't that makes things a little easier?!) - but I know that this is where GOD wants me right now. There is so much GOOD to focus on instead. That is what I am trying to remind myself of as I write today. Life IS good, but more importantly GOD is good!

Lazy Saturday

Not only did I sleep in this morning - til almost 9 a.m., it seemed every time I got too still, I fell asleep. I think I had a total of 3 cat naps today - and I'm ready for night and bedtime to come.

I did not write anything last night because I was just too tired. I substitute taught 5th & 6th grades again as the teacher's husband had surgery. As you all know, that is NOT my favorite thing to do. However, I'm willing even though I'm sure someone who enjoys teaching a classroom full of kids would have done a better job. The good news was the weather was beautiful, and we were able to complete the lesson plans quickly (mostly tests & quizzes) so we were able to have a lot of RECESS :)

I will be substitute teaching several days next week, which will void my usual days off (Tues & Thurs) - but again, when you work at a small Christian school, everyone does what they can to help out. In some ways, I am thankful to be in a situation like this. All the years that Dan was in the Army, I seldom was inconvenienced and had great freedom to do whatever I wanted to do when I wanted to do it (especially the 6 years I was a stay-at-home mom) and money to do it with. I miss those days, and yet, I know in God's plan, He has put me here to stretch me into service for others outside my little family. It's not about me any more.

It also makes me extra thankful for the days I can stay home and be "domestic." I enjoy cooking, cleaning, and being home about ten thousand times more than I did when I took it for granted as a full-time housewife. Overall, it is still a wonderful life - just in a whole different way. Obviously, the stress catches up to me on days like today when I am just empty, tired, and worn; but that too is ok because it is the result of having done something productive and outside my comfort level.

I'm glad Jesus says to come to Him, all who are weary ... and He will give rest (Matthew 11:28)

Slow Cooking Thursday

Great for left-over ham -- and as a breakfast casserole (delicious to wake up to!).

HAM and SCALLOPED POTATOES

5 potatoes, peeled & cubed
1 1/2 c. cubed ham
1 can whole corn, drained
1 bell pepper, chopped
2 t. dried, minced onion
1 can cheddar cheese soup
1/2 c. milk
3 Tbsp. flour

In crock pot, combine potatoes, ham, corn, pepper, and onion; mix well.

In a small bowl, combine soup, milk, and flour; beat with a wire whisk until smooth. Pour soup mix over potato mixure; stir gently to mix. Cover, cook on low 7-9 hours or til potatoes are tender.

Can top w/ shredded cheese (like cheddar) 1/2 hour before serving.

More Slow Cooking Thursday here .

We INTERRUPT This Blog... (edited 10:45 a.m.)

documentation of my day:

get up, showered, dressed.
go to work - be there by 8 a.m.

Ok, just kidding. I'm about to lose the few readers of my blog that I have if I do that again. Seriously, it was a crazy, busy day at work today! I think some of the children are losing their minds during this last quarter of the school year, which in turn causes some of the staff (me included!) to lose their minds as well. (a friend mentioned to me that we just had a FULL MOON, so maybe that plus spring fever is the issue!! ha!!)

Thankfully, our pastor had a wonderful message at tonight's mid-week service - and I was allowed to sit in on the sermon instead of work in the children's program as I often do. The principles the passage of Scripture evoked are, as usual, NOT original to me - but the application is my own.

Mark chapter 6, verses 30-56. The famous "Fish & Loaves" story or "The Feeding of the 5,000." Usually, when I've heard the story, the focus is on the little boy (not mentioned in Mark but in another Gospel's telling of the story) giving up his lunch of 5 loaves & 2 fishes, or the focus is just on the miracle itself - how the food multiplied to feed the gathered crowd with LEFT OVERS!!

Tonight, however, we focused on the disciples' role in this event. If you read Mark chapter 6, you'll find Jesus had told His disciples it was time to get away for a rest because they had hardly even had time to eat while being thronged by people wanting to hear Jesus (vs. 31). HOWEVER, instead of getting AWAY, the disciples and Jesus were found by another huge crowd, and because of Jesus' compassion (vs. 34), He began to teach them. Soon it was late, and everyone was hungry - and the disciples were ready for the crowds to go away to find their own food...but instead, we know that Jesus fed the 5,000 plus women & children (according to another Gospel account). Verse 52 reveals to us that the attitude of the disciples was NOT right when it came to this event!! Their hearts were hard despite having seen what just happened! Perhaps the familiarity with Jesus had caused them to take this miracle for granted. They seemed to resent the interruption of their original plans. uh ohhhhh.....

Suddenly this story struck a chord! Today at work, I spent my day being interrupted! Granted part of my job as a church/school secretary is to deal with the interruptions, but it seemed like today there were EXTRA ones thrown in. It probably seemed more so because I had a long to-do list, and I am the type of person who needs peace and quiet and uninterrupted thinking to accomplish anything well. Perhaps one day I will have an office with a door to close while I count money, do accounting, attempt to type an entire paper without stopping in the middle of a sentence, etc. but until then, this is how it is. Ringing phones, visitors stopping by, students needing band-aids, teachers needing copies, and other interruptions are part of my job right now.

Jesus wasn't inconvenienced by peoples' needs. Granted, He is perfect (!!), but interruptions of His plans wasn't something that frustrated Him. I think I need to learn what the disciples learned on this day. Once they got their hearts right (after going through a STORM, calmed by Jesus - vs. 45-51), they were focused again on their purpose - reaching people (vs. 54-56); so much so that the Bible says they "ran through that whole region round about" to minister! I'm beginning to think interruptions are sometimes just a re-direction of my plans to bring focus back to what (and who) is most important.

EDIT/AFTERTHOUGHT: My friend Amy left me a comment with a quote that I wish I could embroider on a sampler (if I could just find time to do needle-work without interruption!): her friend has a sign over her back door that states, "Interruptions are my ministry." As a mom, an employee, a church member, a friend, interruptions are a part of life - and can be turned into a part of a ministry to a child, a co-worker, a parishioner, or a loved one. I realize there are times for balance, when someone has to put off helping someone else and prioritize and use time management (or avoid being taken advantage of!) - but I'm talking about taking the opportunity to stop and help when one is able to.

Just Another Day

Since I was allowed to be a Happy Homemaker on Monday while recovering from my migraine, I got to go to work today instead of having my almost-usual day off. I'm thankful I can do that - but it sure doesn't leave me anything interesting to write about today....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
documentation of my day:

get up, showered, dressed
go to work - be there by 8 a.m.
go to the chiropractor (well, this was actually note worthy as this helped my residual neck/head pain!!)
back to work
work, work, and work til 5 p.m.
drive thru Mc Donalds ($1.50 hamburger happy meals - but icky toy today - boo!)
scan laptop for viruses, trojan horse, and other bugs (there were SEVERAL that had to be removed - SCAREY!! I need to invest in a better virus scanning plan!!)
read Medical Transcription book, chapter 1 (only 13 more chapters to go!!)
usual night-time, bed-time routine w/ kids
catch up on facebook, read blogs, read Bible (story of Gideon)

and tomorrow I get to go back to work and do it all over again. :) could my life be any more interesting!!??!! :)

3 x's the Chocolate!!

Triple Chocolate Pound Cake - a Pampered Chef recipe (which I make with absolutely NO Pampered Chef kitchen items!!)
The Ingredients:

1 package Devil's Food cake mix

6 oz package instant chocolate pudding

1/2 c. vegetable oil

1 1/4 c. water

4 eggs

2 c. chocolate chips

1/2 c. whipping cream

1 additional c. chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Blend the first 5 ingredients in a large bowl. Beat at medium speed for about 2 minutes (it is a pretty thick, fudgey batter). Pour half of the batter into a greased/floured (or Pam-sprayed) 10 inch Bundt pan or tube pan.

Sprinkle with 1 cup chocolate chips. Pour remaining batter into pan; top with 1 cup chocolate chips. Swirl chips into batter with a knife.Bake at 350 degrees for 50-60 minutes (done when knife inserted comes out clean). Cool for 35 minutes before inverting cake onto a plate.

Make icing: combine 1 cup chocolate chips with 1/2 cup cream in a saucepan. Cook until chocolate is melted and smooth. Let cool a few minutes. Pour over cake & cover sides.

My picture makes my cake look GRAY (!!?) - which it isn't in real life! Also, I used too many chocolate chips in the batter, forgetting I needed them for the icing so my cake lacks icing on the sides. It still smells & tastes INCREDIBLE!

Are you Blissfully Domestic?

Happy Homemaker Monday

Thanks - or no thanks - to a horrible migraine that I had all afternoon & evening on Sunday, I have the day off on Monday (thankfully my job is flexible enough that I could swap out my day off on Tuesday for a day off on Monday instead). Sooooooooo, if I feel better on Monday, I will be a HAPPY HOMEMAKER for the day!

On my bedside table:

my Sunday School lesson book - SECRETS OF A HAPPY HEART by Debi Pryde; also an old Agatha-Christie-type mystery story by Dorothy L. Sayers STRONG POISON

On my TV:

Food Network; and over the weekend LOVE TAKES WING & LOVE FINDS A HOME on the Hallmark Channel

On the Menu for Tonight:

I have to go to a Ladies' Meeting so I'm making Pampered Chef's Triple Chocolate Cake to take; my family will eat left over crock pot lasagna.

On My To-Do List:

finish unpacking from the overnight stay at the in-laws and clean up the house. While I was in bed with a migraine all day, my family apparently wasn't inclined to do anything either. There's a ton of dirty dishes (maybe my husband will do them in the morning, sometimes he does!), the trash can is overflowing, the cat litter boxes need to be cleaned, there's STUFF every where, and the post-Easter basket trash is scattered. (big sigh)

New Recipe I tried last week:

Crock Pot Lasagna

Looking Forward to:

the last day of school (ha! that isn't til the end of May - but I can't wait!!), also looking forward to working on & completing my Medical Transcription course soon.

Homemaking Tip:

Don't get a migraine....and otherwise, start a Household Notebook if you haven't already! I use mine for all the ideas and recipes I get off blogs and from magazines.

Oh, and I also learned if your daughter gives you a piece of gooey caramel chocolate, and you don't want to eat it right then, you SHOULD NOT set it by your bed on the floor...it might attract ants you never knew you had in your house!! :(

Favorite Blog of the Week:

There are so many - and last week I made some great new "bloggy" friends - but I will mention this post by Big Mama because it touched my heart (it is from her blog archives); it reminded me just a little bit of the post I wrote about Messy Children.

Favorite Photo from Last Week:

because my son took this picture of his Army men & the "war" he staged in the garage:

Lesson Learned from the Past Few Days:

Though I have been a Christian for almost 30 years, I have so much more to learn! And yet, God loves me and keeps on working on me, imperfect and ignorant as I am right now.

On My Prayer List:

My family & friends; some I know who are sick & facing surgery soon.

Scripture Verses:

For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. James 1:20

For more Happy Homemakers, look here: Diary of a SAHM

All Our Eggs in One Basket!

Today we donned our aprons, boiled eggs, and dissolved the fizzy color tablets in water & vinegar ~We drew on some of our eggs with wax crayon ~ And then we waited until the egg dye was dry ~

and now we say HAPPY EASTER!

"Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him. For in that he died, he died unto sin once; but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God."

Romans 6:9-10

Happy Easter!

We interrupt this blog to celebrate our RISEN LORD on this Easter weekend.

Sunday I hope we will sing all the Easter hymns at church - UP FROM THE GRAVE HE AROSE - WITH A MIGHTY TRIUMPH OVER HIS FOES.... and He Lives! He Lives! Christ Jesus lives today...

Today we have the day off and are going to Branson (MO) to see Dan's parents and visit with his sister and her 2 kids who are still here. If the weather is decent, we'll possibly be at Silver Dollar City, which will hopefully be all decked out for Spring.

To my bloggy friends - old and new, far and near - HAPPY EASTER!

P.S. On Sunday afernoon, we WILL be dye-ing Easter eggs at my house!! I promise!

Click here to read more about why that is SO important this year!!

Slow Cooking Thursday

CROCK POT LASAGNA

(stolen from someone else's blog...not sure who to give credit to. If it's YOUR blog, please feel free to say : HEY! THAT'S MY RECIPE!!)

1 - 1.5 lbs ground beef

26 oz jarred pasta sauce

12 oz bow tie pasta, cooked

12 oz cottage cheese <--- (forgot to add this originally)

3 cups mozzarella cheese, shredded

Cook & drain pasta. Brown beef, drain fat. Add sauce to beef.

LAYER in the crock pot:

1/2 of the meat mixture

1/2 of the pasta

1/2 of the cheese

other 1/2 of the meat mixture

other 1/2 of the pasta

other 1/2 of the cheese

Cook on low for 6-8 hours or high 2-4 hours.

See more of Slow Cooking Thursday at Sandra's blog

Messy Children

I have a child who is naturally messy. I wonder some days if she has a neat bone in her body; her nickname for many years was "Miss Mess." It is quite a contrast because my other child is fairly organized - at least when it comes to his room and his stuff.

Why am I telling you this? Not to stereotype my children so that they will spend the rest of their lives telling people, "I'm the neat one" and "I'm the messy one," but because I read something today that I wanted to share. It came from a book, which I will tell more about at a later time, so the thought is not original to me, though my additional comments are.

I said in a previous post how I imagine God wants us to come to Him with child-like faith; I even gave Bible verses about the Heavenly Father relationship we have with Him (it's all in this post). Today that theme came up again in a totally different way!

I remember when my children were toddlers, how every meal could potentially turn into something that necessitated a bath when it was over! I wasn't often one to do crafts with my children because of the mess, but I've had my share of cleaning up playdough, paint, and paper shreddings. Even now, when my kids help me cook, it often results in a mess of flour and eggs shells and whatever else we are working with. The messes they make aren't something that makes me abhor my children - in fact, sometimes a child covered in flour and with chocolate on her nose can be truly endearing.

Babies, toddlers, and children make other messes...aside from dirty diapers and spit up, there are messes caused by illness and injury. Have you ever had your child fall down and split their lip or cut themselves or worse!? I know as a mom the instinct is to grab up that "messy" child and hug them close without considering the blood and dirt, wanting only to make things right and clean again.

So, why all this talk of messes??! Because I imagine God, our Heavenly Father, wants us to come to Him when we are a mess!! He doesn't turn us away because we are dirty again. That said, He certainly doesn't leave us that way - and He uses His own methods of cleansing in our lives to restore us to His image and to remove the sins we have committed. But we don't have to wait until we are perfect (because that will never happen!) to come to Him or to even be used by Him. In fact, I've found the messes I make are valuable lessons that I use to help myself - and sometimes others - avoid the same bad situation.

For example, the lesson at Sunday School this past weekend was about "Overcoming Anger"...and I did my workbook, read my assigned Bible verses, and listened to the teacher. Tuesday, I had a situation come up that made me angrier than I have been in a long time ... and I didn't practice any of the principles I had learned or heard from my Sunday School lesson. Instead, I grumbled and I ranted and I complained and I indulged in self-pity and I was just an all-around MESS. I did make things right later on and realized how foolish I had been; however, that doesn't negate all the damage I had done by my actions. I am now forgiven and have learned (yet again) what NOT TO DO...and God and my husband who I was so mad at have shown me (yet again) grace, long-suffering, and mercy.

I am thankful that when I am a mess like I was on Tuesday that God, the Heavenly Father, works on my heart. He picks me up - and yes, He might have to let me learn a bitter lesson about my sin - but He restores me and cleans me up again to be able to continue serving Him. Just like a child who has fallen into a mud puddle or scraped and bloodied her knee, I am held close to a Father who still loves me even when I am a mess.

Why I Just Nearly Fainted...

Since I have discovered mom-blogs, I have a new addiction in my life: reading them, writing them, copying down wonderful ideas and recipes from them (I started a household/ideas notebook to contain all those wonderful ideas and recipes), thinking about them (about the words that are written), getting inspiration from them. I read only blogs that are edifying to me - some from Christian women, some not, some just about decorating or household stuff, some about life, some a big mix of everything (like mine!), and some are thoughts and pictures from my own personal friends! In any case, it is my kind of renewal - reading, reading, reading - and writing.

My husband endures my blog addiction because I do try to limit it when the family is home, but also because I have made some awesome recipes that I have gotten off blogs I read! Blogging is relaxing to me, something I look forward to. I love my daily writing endeavour - and I'd do it if no one read what I wrote - although I admit, I love to hear feedback, only because it makes me not want to give up and helps me know I'm actually making sense! That doesn't always happen when I speak. When I write, I feel like I'm part of something - a group of other mom-writers who are just sharing their hearts in words too. I can't really even describe it - but the writer-wanna-be in me just enjoys all aspects.

Imagine my surprise when I saw MY NAME and MY BLOG featured on Blissfully Domestic!! (click on link to see it for yourself!)
Last week, since I was feeling "Blissfully Domestic" I linked up there (for the first time) - and then come to find out I was recognized!!! I never, ever saw that coming. SOMEONE ELSE besides "my 3 faithful friends" actually read my blog entry and thought it worthy enough to mention. I seriously could have almost fainted...

Control

"When you start a family, essentially you are giving God permission to reign over the part of your life that is the hardest to relinquish control of. When we do, we find that He celebrates and mourns with us in ways we never experienced before."

This quote is from Angie Smith, a blogger I follow, from an interview she had with a couple from Focus on the Family about Starting a Family.

When you are a control person like I am, realizing there are things you can not control is quite humbling - and frustrating - and downright irritating! When I started down our infertility journey over 14 years ago, I was faced with the fact that I do not - and CAN NOT - control conception. No one does. There are couples who are healthy enough to be able to say, "I think it is time to start a family" and then it happens - perfectly planned (or so they think!). However, ultimately, it is God who has the final say; fortunate for some, He works with their plans and timing. For those like me and my husband, He works in His own timing. And for yet others, He throws in a surprise when they are not expecting it - an unplanned pregnancy - but planned in His perfect will.

I've been reading the Old Testament in an attempt to read through the Bible (in a year or so), and over and over I have read that "God opened her womb and she conceived" as well as warnings that if a nation, for example, didn't seek God that He would "close their wombs" as a sign of His punishment and disapproval. I realize we now live in an Age of Grace, for which I am thankful. I don't think that having children or barrenness is as tightly bound to God's favor or punishment any more (which to me somewhat explains why teenagers, unwed mothers, drug addicts, and immoral people can have babies). I think it is like any non-doctrinal issue a New Testament believer has to face - seeking God's will and the Holy Spirit's guidance on what way is right for your family. We have to use Bible principles in our decisions about thing like - how many children to have, adoption, foster parenting, infertility treatments, etc.

This post isn't supposed to just be about having babies, my other thought is about letting God have control of life in general, of giving Him our children after they are born. We can teach, train, pray for, and guide our children, but what they end up doing is ultimately not in our control. The outside influences that may come into their lives are in God's control. The painful situations they will face and the hurts we would like to protect them from are His plan for them, not always ours.

I have often wished I was blessed with a personality conducive to having "child-like faith." It is an almost naive belief that God will take care of everything and because He will, we don't have to worry. I mean naive in a way like little children are trustful that their parents will take care of everything; they don't wonder if their parents pay the mortgage or earn enough to buy food. It is just an innocent belief that it will all just happen. It is a simple trust.

God wants us all to have that child-like faith, simple trust, and innocent expectation that He will provide and take care of us (Luke 11:11-13 and 18:16-17). He has promised to after all (Philippians 4:19)! Yet we have our plans that we want to happen, no matter what. (I'm speaking in a collective "we" that includes me first of all) We scheme and plot and twist and push our agendas without seeking God's will - or if we do acknowledge God, we just want His "stamp of approval" on our blueprints for ourselves or our family. It is easy to tell God, "Your will be done;" it is much harder to actually accept it, especially if His plan is different than ours.

God's ways were not my ways many times. His ways were better. As a control freak, it is hard to let go of my own will - and like I've said so often, I'm learning that God gently pries my fingers off my own life, one issue at a time. He knows I want to be His - He knows I want to do His will - and He also knows I have my own ideas about it all!

I have many of the things that I wanted and hoped for - a good husband, 2 healthy children, a home - but it is ironic that I did not get any of those things in the way I imagined I would! Expectations are a cruel thing if you set your heart too much upon them. Dreams and hopes are wonderful, as long as you remember that God has the ultimate best in mind for you, more than you could ever hope for yourself (Ephesians 3:20). When life is "hard," it isn't easy to believe that. When things don't turn out like you want, it is hard to imagine God knows what is best. But He does. He is continually working - through every situation! If you are a Christian, He is completing His will in you (Philippians 1:6). We need to let go of control - of ourselves, our plans, our children. We can control the outcome only by a simple choice - trust Him or trust ourselves. Based on my experience, I'd choose HIM!

A House Full

I guess because we were a military family for so long - and because we have never lived very near either of our sets of parents in all the years of our marriage, we just aren't used to having big family gatherings any more, though we both grew up having closer-knit, closer-proximity extended families who did have huge get-togethers.

Now that we live 120 miles from Dan's parents, we see "family" a little more often, though rarely at our house. This weekend, however, it worked out that Dan's sister and 2 of her 4 children could come see us here along with his parents. It was kind of fun to have a house full of family, to have to cook a big meal, and to watch the cousins get reacquainted.

Here's a pic of everyone enjoying peach pie with vanilla ice cream ~
Dan's dad, Caleb (15), Lydia (13), Anna, and Dan:

Dan's youngest sister Kay, his mom, and Andrew:

Kay and her 2 children came from the Glacier Park area of Montana (near the Canadian border) on the Amtrak! There is a train station in Jefferson City, which is just 60 miles from us, so they arrived there on Saturday afternoon. Then everyone spent the night - the kids camping out in the living room - and we all went to church together today.

Next year, Dan's parents will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary! We foresee a much, much bigger family gathering happening then (not at my house though); and I am looking forward to it! :)

My Little Girl

Sometimes my little girl is baffling to me. Yet there are many things about her I very much understand! For example, she inherited my independence, and she isn't afraid to try anything if she wants it bad enough, even at the expense of getting into trouble. Not sure if that is a good quality she and I share; but at least I "get it" that she is like that.

On the other hand, she is a messy, disorganized, doesn't-really-care-about-the-details kid. Her room can turn into a trash pit faster than anything I've seen - and it can stay that way - for days - and days. If I didn't "inspire" her to clean it up, she'd live like that quite contently, I'm afraid. That aspect of her, I totally don't understand.

Last night, I was touched by her tender heart which I don't always get a glimpse of because she tends to be my "toughie." It was a long week - school had its ups and downs (I told the story about me whacking her on the head on April's Fools Day - but there was another misunderstanding my daughter had been involved in that day at school involving a joke she - encouraged by her friends - pulled on another little girl, who didn't get it and who got very upset)...but anyway, alls well that ends well.

I didn't get my kids rounded up to go to bed til 10:30 p.m. last night because they were having fun, Dan was sleeping on the couch, and I was just being lazy. Finally, I think I realized Anna was just over-tired. You can tell when that happens to a kid, can't you! So, I told them to get ready for bed - and asked them to clean up their stuff since we're having company this weekend. I noticed Anna seemed quiet, almost sad, but I figured she just didn't want to go to bed yet.

When I went up to say good-night, Anna was crying. At first I thought it was because I had told her to go to bed, to clean up (her least favorite activity), or over some injustice her brother had done to her. I sat down beside her on the bed and went through the whole "what's wrong" questioning, trying to figure her out.

Her reason for the tears was simple. That day at school, the Bible story of the day was about the Crucifixion of Jesus. I guess her teacher had tears in her eyes while reading of Jesus' love, that He endured that horrible death for us to cleanse us from our sins, if we but believe and accept.

Anna told me, "I wanted to cry then too when my teacher was crying, but I decided to wait until I got home. So now I'm crying." And she had a good cry and went to bed, smiling.

If only dealing with all of life's issues was as easy as that: a good cry to cleanse the mind, heart, and soul - and then let it go, move on, and have a good day (or night as the case may be).

Friday Night Reflections

This is my favorite time of the week! The work week is officially over, but the weekend hasn't really even begun. It's Friday night - about 10:30 p.m. Slowly everyone else is winding down, dropping off to sleep, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Tomorrow the busy weekend will begin (inlaws are coming: parents, sister, and 2 of her kids), and they are staying until Sunday; then later on Sunday, we are invited over by some friends. For now though, I am enjoying the calmness of this night.

Have a great weekend!

The Post that Ends with Books

I spent all day today at home, except for a few minutes picking up some groceries at Walmart.
I continued my Blissfully Domestic streak and cleaned more of my house (no pictures, sorry, you'll just have to believe me when I say my toilets ARE clean!).

Even my meal plan was uninspiring today. I had a coupon for Gorton's shrimp scampi which I added to some linguine. I scored a day-old, reduced-price baguette at Walmart and a bag of Lite Caesar salad mix. Not quite Olive Garden, but it was pretty good.


The kids and I had a nice, quiet evening while Dan went to help the "Friends of the Library" organize their book sale items for this weekend. I think he figured if he was there to help, he could get a jump on looking for books he'd like to buy! And in fact, they let him take home a few books that he can pay for tomorrow when the sale officially opens. When paperbacks are a quarter and hard bound books are a dollar, I'm ok with that.


If you don't know Dan, let me tell you, he has a MAJOR book addiction. Major. At this point, we don't have room for many more books, but occasionally, he donates some to Goodwill or the library sale (and then buys MORE from the Goodwill or library sale). His claim to fame is that he never pays full price for a book. Even when he was in the Army (ie. we had more discretionary spending money), he got his books on ebay, from book clubs, and the bargain section of major chain book stores like Barnes & Noble. He mostly likes books on theology and history and some classic literature too; and yes, I do have a book case or two for my own books, I will admit.
These pictures were not taken at our local library, this is my house. If Dan ever doubts my love, I will tell him that he just needs to look at these bookcases in the living room. When we first moved in to our house, we bought them - unfinished & not assembled because that the most cost efficient. Over the course of about 9 months, I stained, sanded, stained and sanded again, and polyurethaned all of these bookcases (that's 7 bookcases & 2 end pieces)!! And I say to you: never again will I stain anything. That is tedious, time-consuming, BORING, slow work!!! My attention span just isn't long enough. I admire wood-workers and carpenters so much more now! :)
Not only do we have bookcases in the living room, they are also in every bedroom (no pics of those), AND in our garage. Dan would rather not park his car in the garage so that he can have MORE BOOKS:



And yes, there is room to park MY vehicle in the garage, if I choose to (which I don't right now because the automatic door opener is broken!) - but maybe I should park in there more often or else Dan might fill up MY space with books too!??!! :)