Uninspired.

I write today only because I want to write EVERY DAY - they say that's how you become a good writer....I don't know who THEY are, but they say a lot of things like that.
I also was recently told that they say one should not use too many "..." in writing. Oops. Look back over my posts - and that is my FAVORITE thing to use, along with "-" and "&". Oh well, I guess I will just have to disappoint "them".

So, I had 3 wonderful snowed-in days off this past week. It was a mini-vacation!! But Friday negated any relaxed feelings I may have carried over. It was one of those days that was consistently busy from 8 a.m. (and actually I got in to work around 7:45 because I wanted to be there early since I just KNEW it would be "one of THOSE days") until 5 p.m. One teacher sent me about 3 kids in a row who said they didn't feel well. Well, I have been in this business long enough to know that once one kid gets to leave the classroom for a trip to the office, many others want to follow - especially when they are 5 years old! So, I did the obligatory fever-checks, asked about their morning, and sent them back to class with a pat on the head and assurance that they would be just fine. I've also been a mom long enough to know when a kid is truly sick and when they just want a little attention or sympathy.

From the high schoolers, I had constant requests of "can I use the stapler?"...."the hole punch?"...."call my mom?"...so much so that I've implemented a new policy that students MAY NOT ask for anything from the office without written permission from a teacher, staff member, or the administrator. The administrator backed me on that one; he likes to have a happy wife ;)
I don't remember being that much of a pest when I was in school - in fact, I think I saw the school secretary like once every 4 months, if that!
All that and we had 2 staff members out sick too. It was a long day. Dan was more stressed out than usual too as he had to tag-team sub with our aide to cover one of the classrooms.

Friday night I took Andrew to his basketball game. He is a joy to watch - he mainly just runs around in circles trying to guard the person he is assigned to defend. He did make a few plays - steals and such - and had a chance to attempt 2 free throws! (he missed but they were close).
Saturday morning was Anna's turn to play. Again, fun to watch - Anna too just kind of runs around like someone who doesn't know what is going on (and well, she doesn't!). She got to play against the team with 3 of her good friends on it, so she was tickled that she would get to defend any one of them. Opportunities to be social! Wooo hooo!!

Meals - well, let's just skip that. It hasn't been nutricious or pretty since Friday!
I do have a roast de-thawing that I may actually bring to church for the potluck! Two weeks in a row - someone write that down - it's a record for me!

THANKFULNESS: Well, I'm thankful it was a short week last week - and next week is short too!! We are off to our annual Educator's Conference in Kansas City from Wednesday to Friday!! I don't think I'll ever be able to work another full week's schedule ever again.

Confirmation!

These past 3 "snow days" have confirmed to me that I am naturally a home-body who has no problems with being bored cooped up for days on end. We did emerge to drive to Rolla yesterday to go to Aldi's - and wouldn't you know it, the ONE THING I wanted there (a strawberry yogurt filled chocolate - very similar to the German chocolate I adore, Yogurette) was NOT AVAILABLE.

I consoled myself with some chocolate with raisins and nuts in it (hazelnuts, I think).

Otherwise, I have been happily watching old sitcoms (Gilligans Island and Hogan's Heroes) with my kids while Dan has watched more NFL pre-Super Bowl coverage than he ever imagined possible! I have caught up on so much - and may tackle another project or two yet! I have read some fiction and my Bible - and even made a contact through an email service (that links writers/publishers to us common folk) to be used in a free-lance eBook about "What Matters Most"! Step one to my wishful freelance career? I doubt it - but it's fun to have someone, who has experience in writing, email me and say, "Hey, can we talk?"

ACCOUNTABILITY:

My Bible reading continues in Leviticus about the Law. Lots of rules about people with leperous sores with or without various colored hairs growing out of them. Then laws about sexual sins. God's pretty serious about His people's morality!! This isn't my favorite section of the Old Testament - but I am reminded over and over that God says "I am holy", "I am the Lord", and "Obey MY statutes and MY commandements." If everybody did that, wouldn't this world be a better place! If I did everything I knew I should, wouldn't *I* be a better person!?

Meals ~ I'm so thankful my husband is a man with simple tastes. While he enjoys some ooey-gooey, garlic-y Italian pasta or herb-i-liscious Greek meals as much as I do - or mouth burning hot Thai dishes which I hate - he is content with (and even requested yesterday) something as simple as "Tater Tot Casserole". Add a cucumber salad - and there you go. We've had left-overs - and then some yummy good 'ol American brunches too. It's definitely not been a weight-watchers week - but when you're snowed in, butter popcorn and hot chocolate with marshmellows tastes soooooo much better.

My THANKFUL HEART is full right now! I am soooooooooo incredibly thankful for this little, unexpected retreat with my family! I was going to be thankful for ONE snow day - and TWO seemed too good to be true - but THREE snow days!!! What a time of rest and refreshing and recreation we've had!!

SNOW DAY

What a blessing - today was a day off from school & so is tomorrow! How fun & cozy to be cooped up with the family!
Snow fell for a long time this afternoon/evening - it is soooo beautiful! I can't wait to see it in the daylight - after I've slept in, of course!

And a random photo of the day:
Ying & Yang???

In-gen-u-ity!

Last winter, the kids managed to break the cheap plastic sled we had, and the dog chewed up the nicer foam-y/plastic sled we had.
We forgot to buy a new sled, so the kids are trying out alternatives! We already found that a big cookie sheet DOES NOT work. A laundry basket, however, makes a pretty decent sled:

School, Spaghetti, and a Snow Day

Well, despite the trepidation with which I approached this Monday, I got up on time & got to work on time & left on time & got to piano lessons on time.

To add to the hecticness of my day, towards the end of it, a student who was having trouble breathing was dropped off at my office by her teacher who had to get back to her other kids. Now, I have never really ever seen anyone have an asthma attack - and though I understand the concept of it, I have no experience with nebulizers, inhalers, etc (and thank God for that!!). However, I think I handled it ok - I found another older student who also has asthma - and she helped me assemble the inhaler, which had to be hoooked into this face mask thing since the student having the attack was a kindergartener. And I now have 100% confirmation that I should NOT pursue a career in nursing, which is practically impossible anyway because of my severe emetophobia! ;)

After work, I relaxed by reading my usual blogs. And how ironic/funny that the subject of my blog from yesterday has somewhat continued in another's blog! One of my favorite bloggers contemplated how an introvert can overcome her guilt of needing to be alone sometimes, especially when it comes to balancing that with having children and being a mother.

I worked at an Army library in Germany before I had Andrew. As a team-building-exercise, we took the Myers-Briggs personality test together. On the introvert section, I scored very, very high. The test is based on your tendencies & preferences, not necessarily on how you have to act or what you do because it is socially correct.

As I read the comments of how these fellow introverts cope with their natural compulsion to be alone, I noticed a recurring theme; these women also were mostly NIGHT OWLS because it was the one time of day when they could be alone and recharge! Admittedly, some were early-morning people, which happened to be the time of day they found peace and quiet. In any case, among these women/moms who I don't even know, I suddenly felt like I was among kindred spirits! My guilt over not being the expected happy-morning-person, out-going, "sweet" church worker melted away. It should no longer be something I'm sorry about. God made us all different, and He loves us all - morning people & night owls :)
http://emmafree.blogspot.com/

Another blog I visit gave me the inspiration for dinner: Hillbilly Spaghetti Pie! It was sooooooooooooo yummy! Even though I don't have a cast iron skillet to make it in, as recommended, it turned out pretty good just in the pan I have.
http://warmpiehappyhome.blogspot.com/

Here's my left-overs - it should taste even better tomorrow:

Here's what it is SUPPOSED TO look like, courtesy of the blog I got the recipe from:

It is best to be enjoyed on a SNOWY/ICY EVENING :)

with a sweet little SNOW PRINCESS.After eating it, you should get into your jammies & get a blanket & curl up on the couch & watch old TV shows like Hogan's Heroes - oh, and eat ice cream -

or have a pillow fight with a Snow Princess

Sunrise, Sunset

Which one do you like better?? I like them both - but in real life, I want to EXPERIENCE the sunset & just see a photograph of the sunrise...

As I anticipate a new week - again - that's just what I'm thinking about.

I realize loving sleep too much is considered being lazy - but doesn't the person who sleeps from 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. sleep just the same amount of time as the person who sleeps from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m.?? Or the person who sleeps from midnight to 8 a.m.?? or the crazy morning people who go to bed at 9 p.m. and get up at the crack of dawn?! ;) Unless you're a dairy farmer, then you have to get up to milk the cows. Cows are apparently morning people.

I always thought there should be a school for morning people & a school for afternoon/night people. That way we wouldn't annoy each other. If I were elected President, I think I'd make that my first executive order. In fact, I should email President Obama about this: Equality for Night People (EfNP). He's all about helping special interest groups; well, this one is mine.

WrItEr'S bLoCk

I haven't written a blog entry in the last few days because I guess I just haven't had much to say. Our days are busy, & they go by so fast.
I've still been doing my daily Bible reading - and right now I'm in Leviticus. I waded through the endless description of the tabernacle & its elements. I mean, YES, it was a wonderful, amazing structure - and to think of the primitive tools that were used to build it and the perfection of God's design for it. Then came laws about sacrifices - goodness, a lot of blood & fat & smoke & burning ... I'm thankful Jesus came to be the final sacrificial Lamb, & now we don't have to worry about it (well, I guess I wouldn't have had to worry about it anyway since I'm not Jewish!).
Today I was reading about what was allowed to be eaten & not eaten. I was telling my kids about it - I'm sure the Israelites were glad they weren't allowed to eat vultures, owls, lizards, and things that "swarm"....They *were* however allowed to eat LOCUST!! Lovely. But they had to pass on pork, ham, and bacon; thank God for the Age of Grace! ;)

As for my meal planning - it has been ok. Friday I browned pieces of round steak to put into the crock pot with seasoned tomato sauce and a flour/water roue to thicken it up. It was ok. just ok. I served it over rice after Andrew's basketball game.
Today we didn't really do anything great for meals - just convenience food & snacks.
Tomorrow I plan to - hopefully - bring something to share at the church potluck! We don't do that very often. It will probably just be a double batch of Hamburger Helper - but that's pretty kid-friendly. Dan bought some YUMMY wheat dinner rolls today that I'll bring so I don't eat the whole dozen myself!

I've definitely noticed a change in my attiude when I focus on being THANKFUL. There is so much around us each day to be thankful for, even when things aren't going our way. Just life, air, and water are blessings! And food - we have so much FOOD - I mean, look at us! I definitely am overfed & would love to lose a "few" (a few dozen!!) pounds. I have several friends who are losing weight right now, and it is inspiring to see that happen for them!! Dan is working on it again too; it would be easier for him if I joined in. Maybe that will be the next step in my blog accountability?!

Well, for someone with not much to say, I guess I just said a lot. ;)

America, America

After hearing the song I just posted & seeing the video & reflecting on AMERICA - on President Bush leaving - on President Obama beginning his term (which I admit leaves me with a little nervousness in the pit of my stomach, but I am determined to pray for this man) , I can't help but feel a little patriotic somehow!

I was born in Germany and am 100% German by my blood line. My mother's family & my father's family are German all the way back as far as anyone can remember or is recorded. My mom and I came to America in October of 1974 - and I celebrated my 4th birthday here the next month. I also started Kindergarten and began to learn the language that I now know better than my own mother tongue.

In 1988, my mother became an American citizen. Because I was under the age of 18 at the time, I was able to become a citizen with her. I still remember going to the courthouse in Knoxville in March of 1989 (months after my mother's swearing in ceremony) and swearing my own allegiance to the United States. What a solemn, somber pledge one has to make to renounce any allegiance to one's former country and then to swear to be willing to bear arms on behalf of the United States, if required to by law. I remember thinking - in my teenage mind - what if I ever have to go to war and fight against my family in Germany!!? You'd think I could have had some other intelligent, relevant thoughts, but at the time, that was it.

I first got to vote for a President in November of 1992. I was certain that because *I* voted for George H. W. Bush that he WOULD beat this new guy, Bill Clinton for sure!! It was my first big disillusion with America. Clinton won. And he won again in 1996 - even though I didn't vote for him AGAIN. Finally though, my vote in 2000 did help George W. Bush become President!! We brought our newborn Anna home from the hospital on the night of the election...but still didn't know for sure who our President was until - what? - January!!? What a crazy election that was. 2004 was a clearer win, and my vote was again for George W. Bush. He's been the only President Anna has ever known...until now.

It was in 2004 that I had a much better reason for voting FOR George W. Bush than I did in 2000. In 2000, I mainly voted for him because he was the "Republican candidate" and because it would be "cool" if he could be one of the few father-son President teams in our history. In November of 2004, Dan had been home from Iraq for about 9 months. September 11, 2001 was still clearer in our minds. The cause-and-effect of that day had touched our family - Dan went to "war" because of the effects of that terrorist attack. We were still optimistic that what Dan and the many others who went to Iraq when Operation Iraqi Freedom I began would make a DIFFERENCE. It was George W. Bush who had courageously led us through those days - Sadam Hussein was found and captured - Osama Bin Laden was on the run!



One of my memories of Dan's deployment was Thanksgiving Day 2003. President Bush surprised the troops in Baghdad by visiting them unexpectedly - and even though Dan was about 60 miles away from there, I almost felt like the President had visited him personally! That is one thing President Bush did so well - supported our troops.


I guess in the last year or so, President Bush has been blamed for so many things - high gas prices this past summer, the poor economy, too slow progress in Iraq, etc. But for me personally, all that pales in comparison of what he DID do:
Remember when he shouted "I can hear you - the world can hear you!" from the rubble of Ground Zero on September 14, 2001?
Remember what a rock he was to us in those days that followed?
Remember when he flew that plane onto the deck of an aircraft carrier, proudly (and perhaps prematurely & too hastily) proclaiming victory in Iraq in May of 2003?
Remember his tears at memorial services in honor of 9/11 and while laying wreaths for fallen soldiers?
Remember his jokes and banter - and even his stuttering & blundering?
Remember him making fun of himself, taking the stuttering and blundering lightly?

That said, I am thankful for the leadership & moral courage of George W. Bush, for his faith and apparent reliance on God, and for his strong stand for issues near & dear to me (abortion, one man + one woman = marriage). There is much to be appreciated about him & his 8 years in office. May God bless him - and may God bless America.

Thank You, Mr. President

There's a new song by SCC being passed around on facebook (and youtube) - complete with pictures of George W. Bush doing the amazing, the human, the kind, and the gracious things he did for the military, for ordinary folks, for people in underprivileged countries, for AMERICA. I can't find a way to link the video that put a lump in my throat - but here's the lyrics of the song. I whole heartedly agree: Thank YOU, Mr. President.

“Good-bye Mr. President,
I guess the time has come for you to,
Pack up all your things and turn the page,
So I was thinking as you left,
I’d try to write a song to tell you,
What so many of us want to say.-

For all those sleepless nights,
I am sure you must have had,
For all the prayers I’m sure you prayed,
For how you tried to lead us when the way was so unclear,
I am sure it wasn’t always evident,
but thank you Mr. President!-

Good-bye Mr. President,
You will not be forgotten,
All the courage and the hope you helped us find,
I can’t imagine how it felt,
To stand where you were standing,
And to try to make the calls you thought were right.-
So for those sleepless nights,
I am sure you must have had,
That put those lines around your eyes,
For how you carried the weight,
Even when the lights went out,
I am sure you’ll never know how much it meant,
I thank you Mr. President.-

So for those days ahead,
When they write about the past,
And everybody has their say,
From all of us who know,
You gave us everything you could,
We hope you will remember this,
Thank you Mr. President!-
Good-bye Mr. President.”

2008© Steven Curtis Chapman, All rights reserved.

Hi, My Name is Conny....

And you all reply, "Hi, Conny!" in a warm, welcoming, easy-going, AA-meeting style.
Today I am going to confess what I'm addicted to:

Here goes:
1. Those of you who are among my 172 friends on facebook, you already know this one: facebook.com. I log on at least once or twice or ten times a day...I hate to miss anything!! And what fun to catch up with people from all eras of my life, starting with my longest-known friends that I've had since 6th grade - and family that I've known, well, since I was born!! I have friends from high school, college, and every duty assignment we've been at almost. And my here-and-now friends too. And I can do it all from the convenience of my own couch or bed! Perfect.

2. coffee. I used to pride myself that I didn't "need" coffee, I just enjoyed it. As Dan says, we drank it socially. Well, then came a full-time job & getting up at 6 a.m. every week day - and having coffee accessible at work ("caffeine, the Christians' drug of choice"). And now I make it immediately upon awaking here at home! even on my days off.

3. my house. I have always been a home-body - but after working in a ministry where we encounter people & families with problems that are just so unimaginable, HOME is now my safe haven. I can't wait to get HOME, to be HOME, to stay HOME. I've really only ever wanted to be a HOMEMAKER - so working outside my home really wears me down some days; that and I'm not as good as Dan is with processing other people's problems; I worry about them, get upset by what they do, try to analzye why they act like they do - but I know it is what God wants me doing right now, so I am thankful to be HOME 2 weekdays usually & to finally own a home (even though we stink at maintaining & fixing it!! *ahem* dishwasher STILL broken!!) after 12 years of being Army vagabonds.

4. my family. Sometimes this addiction leads me to the exclusion of other people. I often feel guilty when a preacher talks about people who avoid "fellowship" because it is a bad sign if you don't want to "be with God's people"...but then again, with my personality, being with people 3 days a week for a 9 hour work day is just about all I can do. And I love my friends dearly & enjoy being with them; I do enjoy "fellowship" but don't seem to want as much "togetherness" as some do. I *like* people - it's not that I want to avoid people, I just look forward to times spent with just my family. I'm thankful we are close - maybe it is because I never had that as a child myself, maybe I'm just selfish - but I love my little family.

5. chocolate. self explanatory.

6. God. because I want to sound spiritual....and also because without HIM, I would be nothing.

What are YOU addicted to!?

Me & Moses

I'm getting to know Moses again as I delve into Exodus. I can't believe how much I can relate to him!! First, he's telling God that he isn't capable of speaking to Pharoah for Him due to being "slow of speech"...which is something I've said myself. I've told Dan many times: I'm not good at this ministry thing, my people skills are lousy, and I definitely don't have that "sweet" personality that I envision a church/school secretary SHOULD have. However, he reminds that there is no definite description of a church secretary anywhere that says she MUST have a naturally sunny disposition or even be outgoing and a people-person. It isn't about what WE can do - it is about what GOD can do through us. I guess God didn't let Moses off the hook either, He did give him Aaron his brother to help him though.

The next revelation I had was that this God who executed this perfect plan to get Israel out of Egypt is MY God too!! His timing was perfect, His execution of the plagues was relevant, and His purpose was for His own glory. He delivered His people in such an absolutely amazing way!

So, Moses now is leading these people out of Egypt - and by chapter 19 where I am today, they have complained about three or four times already about things!! Each time, God is patient & allows them to be delivered from their problem (Egyptians chasing them, no food, no water).

THEN comes the part in chapter 16 where God gives definite instructions how to gather the manna He has provided them - and TWICE it mentions how the people DID NOT FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS!!! What is probably the #1 gripe about my job: people who do NOT follow instructions or meet deadlines!!!! Moses got angry too (vs. 20)! Even God asked in vs. 28, "How long do you refuse to keep My commandments and My instructions?" But our longsuffering God helped them through it - again.

In chapter 18, Moses is overworking himself, trying to take it all on himself, doing ALL the work of dealing with the people's problems. Thankfully his wise father-in-law comes along & suggests he get some good help. I can understand this situation too. I wonder if Moses was like me & just wanted it done his way and done "right" - or if he was more like Dan who just does what needs to be done without considering that someone else could actually do it, if they knew it needed to be done?! In any case, they implement an orderly, structured plan of leadership - and it's all good. I remember when I first started working at the church how heavy the weight of the responsibility of what I had to do was - there is just SO MUCH to be done at the school & church, but slowly, one by one, I've pried my fingers off what I thought was something I HAD TO DO and HAD TO DO my way. Now here I sit, very happily content to let OTHERS deal with things as I sit at home two days a week and do what I need to do at home, which in turn makes me happier to go to work. BALANCE - everyone needs to find it! I think I've come a long way to doing that!!

So, anyway, enough about that - I just am so excited about what I am reading right now!! And one last thing - Andrew has somehow caught on to the idea of reading the Bible daily too (actually, he's done this in the past), and last night, he crawled into bed with his Bible, so I asked him what his plan was. He said he was going to read the book of JOB!??! I asked him, "WHY start with JOB?". And he said he figured that since he was struggling in school right now & having a hard time that he might learn some things from Job who also went through some great trials. I kind of wanted to chuckle - but I know Andrew is serious. I am so THANKFUL for my son's sweet, pure heart and his desire to do what is right (not that he is perfect by any means, but overall, he seems to have inherited his dad's sincerity to serve God and to be "good").

And lastly: what's for dinner tonight?? I haven't decided yet - but I'm thinking something pork chops-y (schnitzel??). We should all be able to have dinner as a family tonight - and I'm looking forward to it!

It Really is a Wonderful Life

Today, anyway. It doesn't get much better than this - and believe me, I so thankful because I know that this may never happen again: I have the day off - and there is a light layer of snow on the ground. I'm still in my jammies, in my bed, sipping coffee, reading & blogging.

I have been remiss in my goals of meal planning & being thankful (though my thankfulness theme is going on in my head). Since school started back, life immediately went right back to CRAZY with piano and basketball -to include now having games each weekend (Andrew on Friday nights & Anna on Saturday mornings). I don't think my family sat down to a "real" meal together all week last week - while I did cook some quick things, it seemed like someone in the family had to "eat and run" or just wasn't home. Oh well, that's life for now. We are praying about giving up piano lessons in an effort to pare down our schedule. It would be sad as Andrew's played since kindergarten & Anna's had lessons since she was 4. BUT that said, it's not like they are progressing into piano geniuses or even just being decent piano players. They both have to work hard at piano to play well - just like I did for the 5 years I had lessons. It doesn't come natural to them, like it did Dan's mom and her sister. Soooooo, we could save time & money by - I hate to say quitting - LETTING lessons GO. For now, we'll trudge on with it, but in the next few months we will be making this decision. The kids don't yet know this may be an option, so they are still thinking piano is just a part of life as is homework and basketball.

I've spent entirely too much blogging space lately expounding on my new Read-Thru-the-Bible thing, but it sure has helped me get my thoughts together and let the Word enter and work on my heart. Those blogs are more for me than for anyone who might check in to read my blog. It is also me being real. I struggle - a lot - and I want to get past that and enjoy our life where we are here & now!

I did gain one more insight today from the blog I follow along with the Bible reading. They are still with Joseph in Genesis even though I've moved on with Moses in Exodus (remember I'm preparing for the slow-down phase when I hit the heavy books of Leviticus and Deuteronomy). Anyway, I said it in my own entry on Joseph - he was one of the few characters in the Bible who was seemingly flawless in character and deed! The pastor's comment on this was to remember the family Joseph came from: the dysfunctional group with the deceiver Jacob as the head and a blend of wives and half-brothers who did some pretty sinful things! By age 17 when Joseph left the family behind, he had enough character instilled into himself (perhaps only because he himself made the choice to NOT be dysfunctional or perhaps he learned by his family's mistakes?!) to sustain himself thru injustice and to act wisely and honorable in each situation he was put into. It just reminds me that you can't blame your past or your family for your actions. It is a personal choice to do right, despite the influencs - for good or bad - of your developmental years.

Well, I should cook something today - like chili or a soup or stew. Dan and Andrew won't be home long - they will do their usual BPS thing (working on putting together Scripture), and Anna and I will be going to her basketball practice. Wednesday is church night - and Thursday we may actually sit down together as a family around the dinner table. :)

As for my thankfulness accountability, today it's pretty easy to be thankful. I'm home, alone, warm, and cozy, doing something I enjoy: reading & writing. I plan to work on my Medical Transcription course again today - I really want to be done by February! And of course, there is always HOUSEWORK. Well, my wonderful life can't be perfect, I guess ;)

Anna's UPWARD too

Try as I might, I didn't get too many good pictures of Anna playing basketball at her first game on Saturday. She had a good time, even though she didn't do much of anything productive. She touched the ball a time or two & even had one attempt at the basket (which in typical Anna-fashion didn't make it to within 2 feet of the rim!).......

This is Anna one of the times she did have the ball - she almost dribbled her way out of my picture frame:

The coach gave Anna the "good sportsmanship" star, so I think it was a successful game! :)

Meaning It For Good

I've really enjoyed my re-reading of the book of Genesis! I actually finished reading it tonight. My enthusiasm for this read-thru-the-Bible will probably diminish by the time I start reading in Leviticus - but until then, I'm enjoying becoming reacquainted with these patriarchs of the Bible.
Joseph has just died at the end of Genesis - and as I read his saga with his brothers, I was reminded how God meant it for Joseph's good that he had to go thru all these trials. I tend to make everything about ME - so I put ME into Joseph's story. Joseph was obviously a favored son of Jacob, the boy with the multi-colored coat. Somehow I can relate more to Joseph's brothers in their jealousy of this seeming goody-two-shoes; but mostly I relate to Rueben, the oldest son. He is the one against selling Joseph from the beginning - in fact, I find that he may not have even been present when the transaction takes place. However, he obviously went with the plot to tell their father that Joseph had probably been killed by a wild animal. I too tend to want to do the right thing - but I also tend to not have the "guts" to speak up when someone else is doing the wrong thing. It's not so much a problem for me now as an adult; but I know as a teen and young person, I was found in a few bad situations that weren't my idea, but I also didn't try to separate myself from them by standing up for what was right.

As I read thru Joseph's ongoing story after his sale to Potiphar and subsequent undeserved imprisonment, I began to think more of Joseph. As has been pointed out often, Joseph is one of the FEW characters in the Bible who has nothing negative said about them or who does seemingly nothing wrong! Sure, he has kind of a charmed beginning, being such a favored son, and having God's favor as well; but even when that is all taken from him, he still maintains his good attitude. In the end, when God's plan is revealed and Joseph sees how God meant it all for good, he probably had no regrets. How many of us can say that??! I am sure I can't!

I thought of how often in the last few years that I have felt like God has had me "give up" so many things: my babies, my life as a homemaker, a comfortable salary that my husband made without my contribution, travel, 30 days vacation a year, and much less responsibility. Even as I have slowly learned to let go of the tight grasp that I had on each of those things, I know God is meaning even this for good. No, I haven't been unjustly persecuted or indicted; but I have been put into a lower (in my mind) position of what I once was. It was by choice - and yet, it was a step down - at least in the world's view: making less money instead of more, having less days off instead of more, having more obligations instead of more freedom. Now I am a servant of many; I have to carefully evaluate what I do and say because of my testimony being linked to a church; and I don't have the money and time to waste as I used to. It is hard to explain without my sounding quite ungrateful for the privilege of now being in ministry - but some days I honestly did feel inprisoned in a way. Yet God HAS favored us even through this time of my adjustment in my thinking and attitude. And now as I grow more and more into my new life and the past fades into something I am thankful we had but realize we'll never have again, I finally can see how God has been working all along. Quite unlike Joseph, I've complained, resisted, and been angry sometimes. But ultimately, we are where we are supposed to be at this stage in our lives.

Slowly I am beginning to see the blessing of it all - mostly that it isn't about ME any more. It is about my husband having a job that he loves and is good at! It is about our children being in a school that is teaching them academically but also enforcing their character and our Christian values. It is about helping others and me doing a job that there is no one else available to do right now. Not that I can compare myself to Joseph saving people from a great famine, but I am doing some accounting and other work that is important to the operation of our church. I know someone else could do my job even better than I do it; but right now, God hasn't allowed anyone else to do it - He has chosen me. He has put me and my family exactly where He wants us. He has intended it for good.

Onward and UPWARD...Basketball

Tonight was Andrew's first ever real basketball game! He was SO excited & nervous. And he got to play quite a bit (the point of Upward BB is that ALL kids get to participate), but one player got hurt so Andrew played even more than he might have!
And when I say "play", I kind of just mean that he ran up & down the court - but he sure guarded & stayed on the opponent who he was assigned to! He did touch the ball a time or two - and was called for a penalty or two. I don't know what they are called; I wish Dan had been there but he was at a basketball game for Maranatha.

After the game, there is a little after-game meeting for the team & parents. "Awards" are given out - and Andrew was chosen by his team as "Most Christ-like"! I told him I'd rather he receive that award over Best Defense or Best Hustle. I hope he will always hold on to his sweet attitude & enthusiasm for all he does (well, I wish he could hustle up a little more enthusiasm for SPELLING!! He did make an 86 on his test today - YEAH!!)

Anna has decided she made the wrong choice by playing basketball. After watching the game tonight, she wishes she had participated in CHEERLEADING instead!

She's been practicing the cheers & jumps all night!

I'm so THANKFUL it is Friday! I'm thankful it was a "normal" week with no major upsets or surpises to my schedule. I'm thankful for a fairly smooth transition into the school schedule after the holidays.

Not Worthy

When I was 8 years old, I was invited to attend Vacation Bible School with a friend who rode the bus to a small Baptist church in our area. On the second day of attending, I heard that we are all sinners in need of a Savior. I had absolutely no problems acknowledging that! I *knew* I wasn't good by any means...and I knew that I needed help! That day I went home, knelt by my bed, and asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins and to save me.
Since that day, I have always had a sense of not being "worthy". When my prayers aren't answered, I just figure that it is because I don't deserve what I'm asking for anyway. When my prayers ARE answered, I feel guilty because I am not worthy of God's favor.
I have heard in sermons that even if God took everything away from us and just left us with Jesus as our Savior and heaven as our home, it was enough. And it is.
Modern Christians, or should I say modern AMERICAN Christians, have no concept of how good we have it! We have money (even those of us who have LESS money have more than - I think I've heard statistics - 2/3 of the world's general population!!), we have comfort, we have choices, we have no persecution...and I believe we have no clue: no clue of what it means to TRULY reliant on God for life, for daily bread, for our very existence. Oh, I've had my moments in the last 4 years where I've not known how I was going to pay a bill --- but there are always credit cards or some way. I mean, I've never been in danger of losing my home, of not having electricity or running water, of being left hungry - my biggest crisis is that I don't have much EXTRA money for things I'd like to have or for conveniences (see my recent posts about not having a dishwasher right now!!).

Anyway....my point today is not to go on and on about how spoiled we are (or I am, I guess I should speak only for myself here - maybe I'm the only one who hasn't realized this point yet??!), but to discuss my newest revelation from God!
Like I said, I've always kind of had this sense of not being worthy - everything I have, I just KNOW I don't deserve. When I think back on Dan's kindness to me over the last 16 years thru some ugly times (on my part), thru times of trials, thru times of huge life changes, I wonder why I got such a wonderful husband when several of my friends right now (good people!) have recently had some pretty bad marriage problems - 2 friends of mine have recently found out their husbands had affairs, one friend has husband with a gambling problem - and then there are my single friends who long to be married and yet, God has not yet given them a soul mate here on earth. I have friends who have longed for children, who have not had a baby or who have lost babies. WHY did God give me 2 healthy babies, even though we did experience one loss, when I faced the same infertility issues they did. I have friends who have gone thru SERIOUS, life-altering illness - and I'm all distressed over my minor anemia issues and migraines, which are certainly uncomfortable - but they won't KILL ME like a cancer could or change my lifestyle like diabetes might.
I guess I think too much about the "why" and not enough about the fact that God knows. He just knows....and He doesn't have to explain it all to me. I guess I have this bizarre sense of "fair and not fair" that I often see in kids (you know the whining of , "It's just not fair".....). I even have gone as far as to tell my own kids - in an effort to prepare them for life - that life is NOT always fair and to learn to reconcile that in themselves NOW so they aren't like me as an adult, being disappointed about life's unfairness. I call it being a "realist" but sometimes I guess I am a pessimist.

So, back to my point (again): are we worthy of anything?? No. Does God bless us anyway? Yes. Does He sometimes say "No" to me when He says "Yes" to someone else about even something that might be a "good" thing (or vice versa)? That's true too. Is there a rhyme and reason to the fairness/unfairness of life? Yes, but sometimes only to God.

I am attempting to read thru the Bible this year (or however long it takes me, I'm not pinning myself down to save myself from further disappointment if I don't meet my deadline). I have a blog I'm accountable to that is led by a pastor of a church in Arkansas. Anyway - finally - here's what I'm getting to:
Right now we are in Genesis, of course. I'm actually up to chapter 32 right now (I'm ahead!) because I want to stay ahead for those times when I start to fall behind.... ;)
SO, I'm reading about Jacob, Rachel, and Esau......Jacob was a great deceiver; his name even MEANS "supplanter"! And he IS a deceiver - raised by a deceiver mom, Rebekah, who tricked her own husband into blessing her favored son Jacob over her elder son, Esau. And Jacob deceived his brother, his father, and others too, plus he was a SNEAK!! AND his wife Rachel was no exception!! She stole from her father and did all kinds of tricky things too, to include taunting her "unloved" sister Leah. A FAMILY OF DECEIVERS! Are they "worthy" of God's blessing?? No. Did God bless them? Immensely!! I mean, I kind of feel sorry for Esau (and yeah, he made his own bed, so to speak, in giving up his birthright for FOOD, but that's just being human IMO - but we don't know the rest of the story either, I'm sure!).
YET: God gave Jacob His blessing and great privilege over his older brother Esau who rightfully "deserved" the blessings and riches. God gave Rachel 2 children, even though she was already in a privileged position of being loved by Jacob, as opposed to her "unloved" sister Leah who was able to have 4 sons - and then after begging God for more to get Jacob to continue to "like" her, God gave her 2 more sons by him.
If these people were a modern family, I think we'd call them "dysfunctional"!! I mean, Jacob had 4 wives (he just had them all at the same time as opposed to those who divorce & re-marry). This family isn't much different from the families who frustrate me because they don't do the "right thing" - and really, not much different in attitude & actions from ME.
AND YET, God blessed them - He "remembered" them (as it is said of Rachel when she finally conceived). Not like God had "forgotten" her - but it is more like He chose to bless her at His appointed time.
And I am sure God "remembers" me too, dysfunctional and unworthy as I feel some days. It isn't because I am worthy of anything, it is only because He is good. It is only because He knows best. It is only because He has a plan and a time table for each of our lives. That time & that plan is DIFFERENT - and yet not unfair - for each of us, even as Christians. I must learn to just keep serving, keep trusting, keep away from bitterness, keep away from jealousy. So, I continue to feel "not worthy" but I also want to continue to feel loved, blessed, and part of a plan that God has designed uniquely for me.

Is this a Sign?!

oh the irony.....so I was reading "my" blogs that I read each day - and one of them was about "The Lost Art of Washing Dishes by Hand"............
Hopefully that's not the sign from heaven I was looking for: a lifetime spent washing dishes by hand! At least I got some encouragement that I *might* be saving money - but our new dishwasher has that "energy star" rating, so I doubt it......

http://blissfullydomestic.com/frugal-bliss/frugal-living/the-lost-art-of-washing-dishes-by-hand/

Dish Pan Hands

In 16 years of marriage, I have always had a dishwasher - even in the tiny studio apartment that we lived in the first months of our marriage, even in our place in Germany.

Growing up, we had a dishwasher, but my mom refused to use it very often, which I never quite understood. I swore to myself that if I ever grew up, got married, and had to do dishes, I'd use my dishwasher. I was kind of like Scarlett O'Hara when the war was over & she was back at her beloved Tara, screaming, "I'll never go hungry again!"....my cry was, "I'll never do dishes by hand again!"

Even when it was just me & Dan (which it was for almost the first 6 years of our marriage!), I always used the dishwasher. Dan was more inclined to do dishes by hand (and yes, he does dishes!!) - but not me. No way!! Some hate to iron, some hate laundry; I hate to do dishes by hand.

When we moved into our new house here, the dishwasher was original to the house, so it was 18 years old - but I still used it - even though sometimes I had to run the cycle thru twice to get the dishes really clean. Then, my father sent us some money as a gift about 2 years ago - and so we bought a BRAND NEW dishwasher! What a JOY it was to have such sparkling, clean, sanitized dishes (compared to the old dishwasher anyway!!). I seriously appreciated the new appliance more than I would have some frivilous purchase.

And suddenly, just last week, now that the warranty is expired, the dishwasher quit draining properly...
Being the ignorant homeowners that we are (honestly, we are NOT the do-it-yourselfers that one should be to own a now-20 year old house!), we thought we'd just pour some DRAIN-O into the dishwasher (which is our solution to all plumbing related issues: showers, sinks, and yes, even clogged toilets! It's our "duct tape of drainage problems", if you will). Well, the drain-o just produced some nasty, toxic-smelling suds that wouldn't drain either.....
So, I got out the dishwasher's manual, & I googled "dishwasher not draining" - and I found that I needed check the hoses for clogs. Dan got under the sink & did that - unhooked the hoses too, & they looked clear.
I took apart the stuff that is at the bottom of the dishwasher (filter, spinny-thing, etc) - and nothing there either.....
Which leaves us to conclude we might have a motor problem - or if we didn't have one before, we have probably created one now :( The dishwasher now will not pump water INTO itself along with not draining.........I think we killed it :(
YIKES!! Now what ??! I can't go on doing dishes by hand! I've done it 3 times now (putting it off in between each time, hoping the dishwasher would heal itself, meanwhile the dishes pile up and up) - and I am just so MAD that my dishwasher is broken.
Lastly, I've prayed over my dishwasher (I'm serious)! I just don't even know who to ask to help or what to do. Dan has no ideas either. Like I say, we are not really worthy to be homeowners - where's the landlord when you need one!!? So, I really am hoping that the Lord will send someone or an idea to me that won't cost us as much as the original price of the dishwasher itself to fix it.
One of my pet peeves is to have something that doesn't work right. I've been thru this over and over with computer programs, my garage door (don't even get me started here - it's still not fixed either!!), craft projects, lawn mowers, putting together furniture, electronic equipment, and so much more. Nothing frustrates me more than not being able to use something that I own, that is supposed to be working!! So, I'm serious when I say I am praying for help on this one. I know in the light of eternity it won't matter that I have dish pan hands or that I am a spoiled brat who needs a dish washer - but I am asking for a little mercy to be able to get my dishwasher working again. Stay tuned - and I am hopeful I will be able to report how God helps me - either by directing me to some help OR by having me learn to live with yet another disappointment, frustration, and unmet expectation. I so do not mean this to be sarcastic - I honestly want God's help on this one!! I believe and have been taught that God cares about even the little things in our lives - so I'm hopeful He'll have some mercy on me and on my dishwasher.

Back on Track

to my original purpose for my blog - to get myself motivated & to be accountable for my domestic endevours & my attitude of gratitude.

Back to work & school today. The hardest part was getting out of bed. It always is.

I actually threw together dinner tonight because piano lessons were canceled.
Chicken breasts (I only had 2 so I cut them up into little pieces) - browned in EVOO.
Broccoli-cauliflower-carrots frozen veggie packet warmed in the microwave - then covered w/ cream of mushroom soup, a little milk, and a little parmesan cheese......Add in the chicken - and you have DINNER. Oh, I poured all that over egg noodles. Who says I can't cook...... ??! I called it chicken primavera - and suddenly I felt like we were eating at Olive Garden. Ok, not really.

I am thankful today that is was a fairly easy transition back into reality after 2 weeks of a very, very slow paced schedule, lots of family time, & many nights of staying up late & sleeping in! There were no crazy parents today, no kids throwing up, no major injuries to bandage, no tantrums, no phone solicitations, no major crisis, very few interruptions, and not even anyone demanding bizarre things from the office (like being asked to be directory assistance or for suggestions how to find a clock repair shop). Yeah, it was a good day over all...

New Rooms for Two

Anna's room came together today! We're overall satisfied with the results. The bed is a little creaky - and the original mattress was practically dry rotted (it had been in a plastic cover in our garage, but our garage has flooded several times), so we had to throw it out. Thankfully, the 2 mattress-pallets from the old bunk beds fit perfectly!

Anna's room still needs a night stand, curtains, and eventually a desk - but for now, I think we have a pretty happy girl! :)
(The following pictures are totally posed - but it was fun to have this photo session in Anna's new room) ~ here she is at her "art center", a table to do homework, etc.:

a "reading corner" since not only does Dan have hundreds of books, our kids do too. I consented to let Anna hang her own art work here - it is HER room afterall, I had to keep reminding myself:

And here is where Anna will hopefully spend many peaceful nights to come:

Andrew's room is almost complete too - we're just waiting for the backordered quilt. This wall features original art by Andrew himself:

The primary colored comforter & bedding does NOT match the "jute" walls very well at all....but for now, it will have to do:Andrew has his own "reading corner" too............mainly because we have no where else to put this rocking chair!

More Changes

Anyone who knows me knows that I don't deal with change very well - not even with the littlest of changes. Recently we sold our mini-van that we've had since May of 2001, and I think I grieved over that thing as much as I have grieved over a family pet! I just don't like that my children are growing up, that I'm getting old, and that it's all going by way way too fast. I know the days ahead will be good too, but I sure enjoyed my babies!!

Now I am faced with my kids not sharing a room any more since they are now 8 & 10 years old. Anna got her new quilt today, which she will be using on her new bed that I painted & polyurethaned. This may well be her last night in the ol' bunk bed:

Anna took this picture. She wanted a picture of Ella on her new quilt, which arrived today (it was not backordered like Andrew's is):

We bought the bunk bed in early 2003 - when Anna was just a little over 2 years old. We lived in housing on Ft. Leonard Wood, and we had a tiny house. When Anna was ready to get out of her crib, we decided to move the kids in together, so Anna's room became a play/guest room. Here are my babies (Andrew - age 4; Anna - age 2) when we first got the bunk bed:

Hopefully Anna will sleep as well in her new bed as she did in the bunk bed:

And yes, if you must know, I cried while writing this post. ;)

It's Beginning to Look A Lot like Christmas...is over!

The tree is down; the decorations are piled on my dining room table, waiting to be put into their rubbermaid containers; and the 3-variety popcorn tin is almost empty. Yep, the holidays are winding down.

I have to admit, after getting over my initial disappointment that we were NOT going to go away for a few days (aside from going to Dan's parents), I was glad that we spent this whole week AT HOME. We got so much done - and that feels GOOD! Not only did I get Andrew's room done, aside from his new backordered quilt, I am well on my way to getting some things transitioned in Anna's room. She is getting a "new" bed to replace the kids' bunk bed, probably tomorrow!

My parents gave me my Oma's bed for Anna! (my Oma was my mom's mom, my German grandmother)

It is a German bed, obviously - bigger than a twin but smaller than a full-size bed. Not only is it sentimental that it is my Oma's bed - but it is the same bed I slept in every summer, growing up, when I went to Germany to stay with my grandparents!

The bed is oak, but I painted it white today; here are the headboard & side boards, drying in my garage:

And this is ME - in that very bed!! Well, you can't really see the bed itself - but my Oma had THE BEST bed with over-sized, square, European pillows & a light duvet/feather bed (I think I was 12 in this picture - I had braces so that is my point of reference):

And me again -(excuse my bare, skinny legs):

The other thing my parents recently gave me is a mirror that hung in my Opa's room (Opa=grandpa). I also painted it white - for Anna's room. It is drying in my garage right now too:

This is a picture of me & mom - July 1986 (I was 15) - it was the day of my Opa's funeral :( but anyway, behind us, you can see the (then-gold-colored) mirror thru the doorway which led into my Opa's room:

What a blessing to have these precious pieces of furniture for my own daughter! I'm so THANKFUL that my parents have passed them on to me and my family.

2009!

Remember Y2K!!? I remember it well.....of course, I'm OLD.....and well, anyway.........here we are 9 years later!

January 1st is always a good day for us - it is Dan's birthday as well. Last year we had an open house for him since he was turning the "big" 4-0. It is a German custom to celebrate the "O" and "5" birthdays, even as adults. This year was pretty low key comparatively!
We were invited to friends' who have expanded cable tv so he could see Iowa play in their Bowl Game. We don't get expanded cable any more in an effort to save some money - besides, we found we wasted a lot of time watching ESPN, Food Network, History channel, and Hallmark channel. I admit I miss my shows - but somehow our now basic cable got messed up, & we still get HGTV even though we're not supposed to! It's the little things that I take as a blessing just for me! ESPN actually comes in too - in black & white and all fuzzy. But if you turn on the CC, you can read what they are saying & you can see the picture if you squint!! Dan says his eyesight has been getting worse recently...

So, anyway, we had brunch with friends while we watched Iowa tromp on South Carolina. It's always nice when your team wins :) and wins well!
After we got home & had a nap (the game started at 10 a.m., which seemed awful early after being up late for New Years Eve the night before!), I made a nice dinner for Dan.
Now we're finally just relaxing & watching the Honeymooners marathon on TV. What a great day off!! I need to make Dan some sugar cookies since they are his favorite - and we didn't get him a cake this year.

I am THANKFUL today yet again for my husband. What a blessing he is to me & to our family. He is such a good man, a sincere Christian, and has a servant's heart. He does so much for others, not because he wants thanks or praise, but because he really, truly enjoys helping others. I wish I had more of that kind of selflessness. Of course, he isn't perfect, but I appreciate that he tries hard to please the Lord and to do right by me. I am so blessed because of his influence in my life. Happy Birthday, Dan!!