I was hoping today was Friday ... but the calendar said THURSDAY. It's been a long week, which followed the long week last week (which was our last week of the school year).
As my "part-time" job has been pretty much full time the last 2 weeks, I am thankful that I've been able to function at work as well as I have! Yesterday I was downright nervous because I just felt too good. I didn't even have a long nap when I came home last night like I usually do - and I managed to load and unload the dishwasher, an amazing feat for me to complete these days! When I started thinking about it though, I began to wonder if something was wrong! Maybe I wasn't pregnant any more?? Maybe something had happened and the hormones were no longer raging. Worry, weariness, anxiety crept in. I had a hard time falling asleep last night - but I did really try to focus on praying for peace no matter what. I tried to remember all the promises God have given us - and just to remember that He is good, all the time.
Well, today, I was rewarded by being absolutely exhausted by the time I got home. I took a 1 1/2 hour nap - and am still tired even now - though it's more like my body is tired but my brain is awake. What an exercise in faith this pregnancy has been - and will probably continue to be.
I have a doctor appointment on June 9th - and am very excited to be able to hear it from a professional if everything is still ok. The future is already determined by the Lord, but some earthly confirmation would be helpful right now. My husband will be able to go to this appointment with me, which is another blessing. He was hardly available when I was pregnant before to go to appointments, so it is an added bonus that he is able to be there with me now, during which will most likely be our last pregnancy. We're just so thankful for this one last chance. God is good...but like Dan said, even if we lost this baby, God is still good.
3 comments:
I can so remember being pregnant and when things were good I'd worry something was wrong. When I was feeling the "ill effects" of pregnancy I'd be wishing things were good! LOL! Well, thankfully, your mind was eased when the exhaustion came back. :) Oh, my dear, every single day is a walk "by faith" with the Lord, isn't it?
Here's hoping you have a wonderful feeling-really-pregnant day!!! :)
I guess we're all the same. After I miscarried our first one I looked for every sign up until that point that any little thing might be wrong, instead of enjoying it. But you just can't when you have that fear in the back of your mind. Remember that God has not given us the spirit of fear, so you know who is making you feel this anxiety. I am very glad you have made it this far and I know you will be much happier come Tuesday. I know you'll keep us posted, so I don't even have to ask.
I had tough pregnancies so I remember being worried all the time and always feeling relieved when I had my doctor appointments and found out everything was ok :)
Hope you're having a good day :)
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