Happiness

This evening, my family finally got home from Iowa where they were visiting with my husband's mother and grandmother. I was so happy to see them - and we had a lot of catching up to do about each others' weekends.

My husband's 90 year old grandmother has a brain tumor (she was diagnosed last summer). She was recently put back into a nursing home since she no longer has the strength in her legs to support herself, and it is impossible to lift her without the help of several people. Her mind is still clear, yet her body is slowly shutting down as this tumor grows. She can barely swallow now, and many other things are becoming more and more difficult. She also can't really sleep any more - she cat naps - but she can not reach that long, restful, deep, restoring level of sleep that lasts many hours. She is constantly tired - but there is no relief.

Hearing about all her health problems has made me remember how fleeting and painful and harsh this old life of sin is! Today I am thankful life on earth is but a vapor. She is a godly woman who even now is a natural optimist. She seldom complains about her circumstances. I was very humbled to hear that during this visit with Dan and my kids that she talked very little about herself and her illness - but instead she was more interested in hearing about how everyone else is doing.

In Sunday School today, we were continuing the study of Secrets of a Happy Heart by Debi Pryde. The topic of happiness came up, and it was stated that when we are unhappy, we are sinning. Whether our unhappiness is directed at a person, an injustice, or a circumstance, allowing that situation to control us and make us unhappy is pretty much like telling God He doesn't know what He is doing by allowing us to be in the unhappy place that we are in.

There are many examples of people in the Bible who had great injustices heaped upon them - and yet, they remained happy (not like, "OH GOODY! I get to suffer again," but they trusted that even in the bad places, GOD was working). Joseph, in the Old Testament, is a prime example - he had injustice heaped upon injustice, but in the end was able to realize the purpose God had for it all. Some people will never see the ultimate purpose - for example, persecuted Christians, who are tortured and killed, will not know the purpose of it all in this life - but they get to go to heaven sooner than had they lived a full life. I am thankful that in heaven, the tears will be wiped away and the wrongs of this world will be made right!

I think Dan's grandmother has chosen happiness. It can't be pleasant there in the nursing home, to have constant pain and boredom, to never feel rested, and to never be able to get comfortable or to even enjoy her food. Heaven must be so much sweeter to her: no more PAIN. I know I whine about my migraines that last but a few hours, I can't begin to fathom a brain tumor that aches more and more as it grows. I complain about being tired when I have only gotten 4 or 5 hours of sleep, I can't imagine not getting good, deep sleep for days and days on end. I get discouraged about having to do hard things at work or school, but at least I have a purpose in life and am able to work. I can move my limbs, and I can walk about as I please. Given this perspective, there truly is nothing to complain about!

Lately I have often heard sayings like "God never promised you a life free from trouble, He only promised to be with you." or "Sometimes God calms the storm, but sometimes God lets the storm rage and calms His child." Being a Christian brings no guarantee of an easy life. The good things we have are only ours by His mercy.

The longer I live and observe other peoples' lives, the more I see that truly selfish people are the most unhappy. And convictingly, I have seen my own selfishness and my own unhappiness as the sin that it is. Sadly, just because I realize all this today, doesn't mean that I will remember it for long - and no doubt I will find myself feeling unhappy over and over again. However, I am thankful that today, just for these moments, I am aware of God's constant presence with me and His constant working in my life, no matter if life seems fair or not - no matter if people do what I expect or not - no matter if I feel well or not. Happiness is truly a CHOICE - it's the choice God wants us to make.
Today I'm joining Like a Warm Cup of Coffee for MMM!