Sabbath Day

In my Bible reading, still in Leviticus, God is now giving commands to have Israel allow their fields to "rest" every so often, to implement a year of sabbath, ie sabbatical, and also the year of Jubilee. He promises to provide for them even if they don't plant anything.

This morning I'm on a sabbatical from my life. After the day I had at work on Friday - and then unexpectedly having something else come up Friday night thru this morning, I am now officially empty again. My weariness typically does not come from physical work but from mental work. I mull over things entirely too much, and it just plain wears me out! My understanding husband has let me stay home this morning, knowing I am achy and tired because of the past 2 days, even though I've been on SNOW DAY vacation seemingly all week.

I have one of those brains you can't turn off. And right now there is too much in it. I also have taken some unnecessary burdens on myself. Not that anyone has expected me to carry them, but I feel the obligation to do more outside of my own comfort level. Someone once told me I was not very sympathetic (granted, that someone is quite "needy"), but I take even unmerited criticism to heart. For the last few days, I have really, really tried to be compassionate and considerate of friends who need some support right now, and though I know it is the right thing to do, I am not good at knowing what they need. Being a care-taker does not come natural to me. Personally when I am sick or struggling, I prefer to be left alone; but I know not everyone is like that. I also don't like to obligate people to help me, and recently, I got obligated to help someone for more time than I was willing to give - but I did it anyway. I struggle so much with what the right thing to do is versus what is the necessary thing to do.

Also a friend who is my age from my old "infertility group" that I was in back in the late 1990's/early 2000's just announced she is pregnant with #3. I am happy and thrilled ... and sad and jealous. And that's just the honest truth. Even in reading the Old Testament now, I just don't understand God's reasoning in "opening wombs" and leaving others barren. I do trust He has His reasons.

And there are so many more thoughts swirling around in my mind. If I wrote them ALL down, you'd be shocked, surprised, and think I was a little crazy. So, my weary mind and I are home this morning, quietly sorting them out, praying over issues that God would grant me logic in and wisdom for, and figuring out how to handle things I don't want to confront.

I am thankful today for the quiet of my home; the crockpot has a roast in it that I was going to take to church; and my husband totally gets me. He knows if everyone leaves me alone for a few hours, I will be just fine & ready to come out this afternoon! That and some potent headache medicine will surely help. :)

PS I found my new hero: www.taviano.com/marla. I stumbled upon a book offer that had the right price tag on it at one of the blogs I read - with a book review that sounded fascinating. I ordered the book & got it Friday - signed by the author! In one of the final chapters of the book (and I'm letting you all guess which one it was), she addressed something I've struggled with for 12 years now (and no, it's not some deep, dark sin; it's just an issue that I've been working through) - and finally, I got some biblical answers - and of course, more to think about to add to my already full brain.
Marla also gives some good advice on how to be a "real writer" on her webpage too, which is always interesting to me. I'm telling you all, some day you WILL be able to buy my book - you might not care to read it, but it will be out there!

Well, my achy head and body are going to rest now and enjoy the last few moments of my sabbatical. Happy Sabbath Day to you too.