Meaning It For Good

I've really enjoyed my re-reading of the book of Genesis! I actually finished reading it tonight. My enthusiasm for this read-thru-the-Bible will probably diminish by the time I start reading in Leviticus - but until then, I'm enjoying becoming reacquainted with these patriarchs of the Bible.
Joseph has just died at the end of Genesis - and as I read his saga with his brothers, I was reminded how God meant it for Joseph's good that he had to go thru all these trials. I tend to make everything about ME - so I put ME into Joseph's story. Joseph was obviously a favored son of Jacob, the boy with the multi-colored coat. Somehow I can relate more to Joseph's brothers in their jealousy of this seeming goody-two-shoes; but mostly I relate to Rueben, the oldest son. He is the one against selling Joseph from the beginning - in fact, I find that he may not have even been present when the transaction takes place. However, he obviously went with the plot to tell their father that Joseph had probably been killed by a wild animal. I too tend to want to do the right thing - but I also tend to not have the "guts" to speak up when someone else is doing the wrong thing. It's not so much a problem for me now as an adult; but I know as a teen and young person, I was found in a few bad situations that weren't my idea, but I also didn't try to separate myself from them by standing up for what was right.

As I read thru Joseph's ongoing story after his sale to Potiphar and subsequent undeserved imprisonment, I began to think more of Joseph. As has been pointed out often, Joseph is one of the FEW characters in the Bible who has nothing negative said about them or who does seemingly nothing wrong! Sure, he has kind of a charmed beginning, being such a favored son, and having God's favor as well; but even when that is all taken from him, he still maintains his good attitude. In the end, when God's plan is revealed and Joseph sees how God meant it all for good, he probably had no regrets. How many of us can say that??! I am sure I can't!

I thought of how often in the last few years that I have felt like God has had me "give up" so many things: my babies, my life as a homemaker, a comfortable salary that my husband made without my contribution, travel, 30 days vacation a year, and much less responsibility. Even as I have slowly learned to let go of the tight grasp that I had on each of those things, I know God is meaning even this for good. No, I haven't been unjustly persecuted or indicted; but I have been put into a lower (in my mind) position of what I once was. It was by choice - and yet, it was a step down - at least in the world's view: making less money instead of more, having less days off instead of more, having more obligations instead of more freedom. Now I am a servant of many; I have to carefully evaluate what I do and say because of my testimony being linked to a church; and I don't have the money and time to waste as I used to. It is hard to explain without my sounding quite ungrateful for the privilege of now being in ministry - but some days I honestly did feel inprisoned in a way. Yet God HAS favored us even through this time of my adjustment in my thinking and attitude. And now as I grow more and more into my new life and the past fades into something I am thankful we had but realize we'll never have again, I finally can see how God has been working all along. Quite unlike Joseph, I've complained, resisted, and been angry sometimes. But ultimately, we are where we are supposed to be at this stage in our lives.

Slowly I am beginning to see the blessing of it all - mostly that it isn't about ME any more. It is about my husband having a job that he loves and is good at! It is about our children being in a school that is teaching them academically but also enforcing their character and our Christian values. It is about helping others and me doing a job that there is no one else available to do right now. Not that I can compare myself to Joseph saving people from a great famine, but I am doing some accounting and other work that is important to the operation of our church. I know someone else could do my job even better than I do it; but right now, God hasn't allowed anyone else to do it - He has chosen me. He has put me and my family exactly where He wants us. He has intended it for good.